C. Michael Kirre

I am one of those who spend a lot of time staring out of windows or just out into inner and outer space without getting anywhere. My life is dominated by random thoughts and impulses. I am somewhat aware that I exist in the here and now but my mind keeps flying off to either past or future or some parallel version of either.

I am hugely unproductive and a master of procrastination. I am nervous, uncertain and scared. I don't pay attention to what I should and pay attention to things that doesn’t deserve my time. I don't drink much, not because of some moral or conscious choice, it just sort of got that way. I eat when I am bored and I more often than not I watch movies just to have an excuse to eat snacks.

I am a temple of bad habits and self-destructive behaviour.

The last time I went to a psychologist he told me to stop being so ridiculous, but I haven’t so screw him. I have some vague ambitions but not the energy to make them come to life. I feel that at some point in my future I will be able to accept myself. Unfortunately, that future never seems to become my present. So instead I blame my past.

I watch a lot of whisper and ASMR videos on youtube because the girls are sad and pretty and it’s one way of stalking without actually doing so.

Therefore it’s not illegal.

I have the face of a murder/rapist and if I was ever accused of either I would probably get the chop. On the inside I am a walking time bomb of depressions and borderline suicidality, but if you dig deep enough through the barriers of bullshit, sarcasm and douchebaggery, you might find that I am actually a nice, and perhaps even a likable, person. Much like this text it takes me a while to get to the good part.