Part I: Personification

What's personification? An easy tool to make your setting really POP! Read on to find out how to use it!

Have you ever written a paragraph of a story you were working on, read it back, and grumbled at how plain, uninspiring, or boring it was? Well, we all have. Even if you’ve got ideas in your head, as great as they might sound inside, sometimes you’ll put them on the screen and completely disappoint yourself. What sounded like an exciting, action packed scene in your mind now looks like a trudging block of exposition. It’s boring.

Don't let your exposition stay looking like this!

    Well don’t let it get you down. It’s just something that’s going to happen when you’re pounding your thoughts into material. Quite often, even if what you just wrote looks terrible to you, it’s still a vital step in the creative process. It’s extremely important to put your thoughts down in written form. So many “writers” have the story all in their heads! It might be amazing and inspiring and wonderful, but no one can see it. That’s why actually filtering the ideas out of your mind into visible form is so important, but it’s of course only the first step.

    Let’s go back to that boring block of exposition. Odds are that you’re going to have to dissect it, chop it up, sew it back together, and send a bolt of lightning into it before “It’s alive!” Silly, but truer than you think. Quite often you will have to remove entire sections of writing, even if your productive ego tells you “What are you doing!?” It just feel unnatural and wrong to delete something you put in your story, but trust me, don’t be afraid of it. Often less is far more, and there’s only one way to find out when that’s true.

    But that still doesn’t say much for energizing that dead chunk of text. If you chop up paragraph cadavers and splice them back together, you’re still using dead word-meat. What do you need next? A bolt of lightning! But where do you find that? Well, there are many viable alternatives to a lightning rod affixed to your roof. Writing is an art, and just as there are a myriad different ways to bring a painting to life, the same can be said when it comes to writing. I’m going to bring out one that I personally like to employ in my work.

    Personification. What’s that? Well, basically it’s when you take an lifeless, inanimate object, and give it active, even human traits. If you cut eyes and a mouth into your sandwich and make it talk, I suppose that’s personification. Thankfully we can be much more subtle when it comes to writing. How can we do this? Well the best way to explain is with an example.

The wind moved the curtains.

This sentence of exposition is to the point, but it’s also pretty boring. I think I just yawned.

The blackened night exhaled a heavy breath against the curtains as they fluttered in a ghostly dance.

Alright, I’ll admit I went a little overboard there, but this looks a lot better, doesn’t it?

    Looking at those two sentences, why is the second one funner to read? It’s hardly because of the dramatic descriptive adjectives. Don’t believe me? Then let’s strip it bare, leaving only the personifications.

The night exhaled a breath against the curtains as they fluttered and danced.

    It still sounds pretty darn good, doesn’t it? Some would even prefer this version to the last. Why? Well that’s a key point when it comes to personification. A writer can pile on all the fancy adjectives he wants onto his work, but when you overuse adjectives, you’re telling the reader what something is like, you’re not showing them what it’s like. That’s probably the most widely preached mantra of writing: Show, don’t tell.

Maybe this is a bit too literal of a visual aid, but I kind of want middle one's number and to have a brewski with the one on the left.

    When you utilize a personification as opposed to a handful of adjectives, you’re giving your setting human characteristics. Obviously, any human is going to more fully connect with human characteristics. It hits home harder, and it wraps us up in the scene. You see? That’s a personification right there “It wraps us into to the scene”. Obviously a sentence or paragraph cannot physically wrap around your body, but through use of a personification, your mind immediately grasps the idea behind that phrase and interprets it in a very literal, visceral way. That’s why personifications are so powerful when read. You might not even see them as you read, but they’re there, and they make you keep reading.

    So now that you understand exactly what personification is, why don’t you try it out? I guarantee that you already use it in your writing, even if you never thought about it before, but now that we are thinking about it, let’s practice and evolve this particular skill.

    Below is a list of random, lifeless objects. They’re lifeless because they’re not breathing and thinking, but you personally can breathe life into them through personification, and they will repay the favor by breathing life into your story.

Wind
Marble/s
Camera
Dress
Xylophone

    So take each of these boring, inanimate objects, and use personification to place them each in a sentence that imbues them with life and human characteristics. Remember to make good use of active verbs, not passive ones (like were, had, and was), and for a twist, try to use little to no adjectives in each sentence. Don’t be afraid of using emotion! Just because a mansion can not feel literal sorrow, it can look very sad and alone as it sits atop a dark, cloudy mountaintop, right?

    Post your practice results in the comments section and let me know how personification works for you!

Comments

Alexandra Hart

Posted 8 Years Ago The wind blew past her so graciously, it was like the deceased in the graveyard had taken a breath and exhaled simultaneously. The marble stood proud on the grave, but had the wear and tear of the negligence of the years. The camera snapped the picture of the beautiful scenery that lay before him and became a timeless moment in history. As she spun around, her dress lifted ever so lightly with each turn, displaying the hemline. Each note on the xylophone was played independently by the child who had discovered the magic of music.

♥ Ari Skye ♥

Posted 9 Years Ago The wind whispered it's silent secret in our ears. Three black marbles fell from her hand, like teardrops in the dead of night. As the camera became my eyes, I saw things I never imagined were there. Her dress flowed around her legs, like water in a rapidly moving creek. The xylophone seemed so sad, as it sat abandoned and unplayed, many keys missing. too much, or not enough?

MorganStranger

Posted 9 Years Ago The wind was up and about as it whispered in his ears. Tiny glass marbles ran through the open corridor and then leaping over the wooden stairs until it settled in the burning sand below. It took a while, but soon the camera gave up on arguing about what the best focus might be. Right after the mechanical whines, the shutter snapped, freezing the event forever. Abby came out of her room, revealing an elegant, pink dress. Its broad straps wrapped over her shoulder, bearing her long, fair arms. It carried her bosoms quite nicely as it gently wraps its self around her waist. Finally it hanged just above her knees as it danced in the evening air. The xylophone sang with a tiny ding as the hammer gently beat it. sooo? how did i do?

brezybaby3

Posted 9 Years Ago The wind dance along the top of one wave to the next. The marbles scattered in many directions at once, confusing the cat who had attacked the round orbs. The camera clicked and whirled in laughter as it took pictures of the scenery. The dress floated around her legs as she danced in the waves. The xylophone jangled as it sailed into the garbage, many pieces missing.

Nicole Grean Stone.

Posted 9 Years Ago Thomas called for help, no sound, but the wind. The wind cried making it sound so clear. As he walk pass the trees. He found Nickolas Marbles Hiding from the winter air and a camera old as time. He pick them up, both cold and lost. He walk pass the line where an old house stood alone. A fire was set in the fireplace. its light dance in the room. Dez came out in her white dress. in surprise the dress was short just like her. her dress huge her as I wanted too. Then a noise, music from a xylophone was heard. IT was soft as sheep's but cold as the winter snow love it the idea you shared.

Swetha

Posted 9 Years Ago The wind whispers past my ear, tickling my senses. The lone marble stands abandoned and unloved, forgotten by the child who had once so eagerly played with it. The camera swivels back and forth, capturing breathtaking scene after breathtaking scene, not even pausing for breath, determined to do its duty. The silk dress flowed like water, dancing around her in shimmering spirals. The xylophone childishly piped out its quick, sharp notes, welcoming the swift thud of the mallet.

The Storyteller

Posted 9 Years Ago The wind giggles as it plays with the kite. From under the bed a marble stares at the child playing. The camera holds it breath waiting for the perfect shot. The party dress on the floor passes out from exhaustion. On stage the Xylophone sings from the bottom of its heart.

Louisa Crawford

Posted 9 Years Ago The icy wind whistled and howled as if a choir of wolves howled in unison to the cold blue moon. The Seer blinked and trudged down the moonlit shrine path down to the crowd of awestruck acolytes below. Pablo rolled his shiny brand new red marbles across the uneven dirt floor of his grandfather's hovel. Marveling at the way the light reflected of the sparking surface he rolled the red marbles across each rough bump and giggled as the reflections cast small transparent rainbows across the pale clay walls. Whistling softly to himself, Drent ran his hand across the shiny black plastic and silently praised himself for buying the ancient camera. He had found it under a dusty moth eaten cloth in his dad's old shed. Hagera spun the delicate silk faster then the tailor women in the great port in Johan, Jai'stilitch city. This dress would be the richest aquamarine blue the Johan had ever seen. Genny smiled lovingly as her two year old son Jeremy picked up the xylophone drumstick and struck the rainbow colored xylophone bars, a high pitched chime resonated throughout the nursery. I hope this is what you meant by personification! I dunno if I went over board or not. Oh well, I had fun!

Zan	Posted 9 Years Ago The wind raged against the window,making is tremble. The aggies struck the little blue marbles and they chimed with laughter. Through the eye of the camera, the cold sad truth was revealed. "Your dress seized me, held me captive.

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