Relationships: Writers Are Groups Of Losers, But At Least We Stick Together, Part TwoA Lesson by TopHatGirl
Part Two of the Relationships lesson.
I hope you did your homework. If you didn't, you suck, go out there and do it, then come back. If you have no idea what the heck I'm talking about, go back to the previous lesson and read.
So, make any new friends? Or enemies? Embarrassed by the sad attempts you made? I know I am. Seriously, I really took a step into not being a loner today. Okay, enough about moi. Lets take all that relationship that you made, and create a story. Lets make a little outline! Yeah!! We're nerds!!
Name: Blank Fake
Age: A billion
How it worked: Making jokes worked, and so did listening to shim.
What didn't work: Talking a lot about myself.
Stick with the relationship: Probably not. We didn't click well. But I could see us working together on a project or something.
Obviously, Blank Fake is not a real person. Yes, I do expect you to do this outline for your new relationship. Not all relationships, though. You would have a whole room filled with relationships. But, wanna be super nerdy? Get Post It notes. Then, write down at least 20 people that you know names on them. Put it somewhere where no one can find it, like on the wall inside your closet. Then, order them from strongest relationship to weakest, strongest on top. As you live your life, check back on those Post Its. Rearrange them to fit how your relationship has changed, and, if you want, remove them once you lose contact. Feel free to add more Post Its. This will help you, seeing the intricate web that works behind relationships.
Let's get onto the writing, shall we?
"I love you," he said, looking deeply into her eyes.
ZzzzzZzzzZZZZzzzz.......Huh? What? Sorry, that was just really boring. That whole sentence is overused, cliched, and hackneyed. I love you, is a strong thing to say. But, really? No one really says it like that, except the hopeless romantic guys who don't ever get girlfriends because they go on overload. But the hole 'looking deeply into her eyes' is just.....lame. How about:
"Apparently, its custom for a man to say to a woman that she's the only girl for him, that her beauty makes his heart pound, and all this gushy stuff. But really, I just love you. And that's all I got," he said, tilting her head upwards, smiling slightly, and itching to just kiss her right there and then. And so he did.
I think that if I guy said that to me, I would melt. Ha. But, that's me. And this kind of talk ^ really depends on the author. So that is why romance is a tricky subject. Same with hate.
"I hate you," he said forcefully, gritting his teeth.
Boooorrrriiiinngggg. In relationships, that would really suck. The other person would probably think, Okay, great. I already knew that. Maybe because hate means something different to different people. Hmm....maybe:
"I don't hate you, I loathe you. You know when you're at the doctor's office, and they have to check your blood? You know that utter sharp pain when they first prick the needle in your helpless body? You're that prick," he said, brow furrowed, fists balled up.
Ouch. I would flinch at that. Or maybe your relationship with them is so bad, that you don't even care. Or the relationship is just that they were once lovers, but something happened to pull them apart, and the other is just about to break down. See, relationships. I think I've said the word relationship like seven-hundred times in these two lessons. Since this dialogue varies with the relationship(once again), let's rewrite that to make it fit to a relationship.
"I don't love you, I loathe you. You know when you're at the doctor's office, and they have to check your blood? You know that utter sharp pain when they first prick the needle in your helpless body? You're that prick," he said, brow furrowed, fists balled up. He saw the tears well up in her eyes, but he didn't care. Finally, he would hurt her, instead of the other way around.
And this is where they are just extreme enemies:
"I don't hate you, I loathe you. You know when you're at the doctor's office, and they have to check your blood? You know that utter sharp pain when they first prick the needle in your helpless body? You're that prick," he said, brow furrowed, fists balled up. Nat just smirked, enjoying his little rant. Oh, how immature that little b*****d is.
But you saw something past that, didn't you? Other then just pure enemies for no particular reason. You saw that flicker of something deeper. Or maybe not. This depends on the knowledge you have on relationships.
Okay, I'm done with that word relationship.
In the next lesson, we'll be analyzing (and scorning) Mary Sues and Gary Stus. Want to know what that means? Subscribe to this course and find out.
Added on June 3, 2010
Last Updated on June 3, 2010
AboutHi! I'm tophatgirl, here to provide sarcastic remarks and bitter commentary to anything. I'm actually pretty friendly, so feel free to message me about anything! You're probably here because of my c..