Phrasing

Getting your sentences to work for you.

     Let's take an example about a dog burying a bone.

     The family gave Spot a giant steak bone after dinner. Spot was happy to have it. Spot picked up the bone and ran outside. The sun was shining. Spot found a nice place under the roses. Spot buried his bone. Spot laid under the tree to dream about his bone.

     This paragraph is very reminscent of a story written by a young child in elementary school. The sentences are short and basically have the same structure. Most of them start with "Spot" and since the sentences are so short and choppy the reading doesn't flow.

     Now try this:

    I took the same principle paragraph and added some descriptive words and detail. I changed up how the sentences started a bit so it's not a paragraph of "Spot"s. I combined some sentences into longer sentences that were of similar thought and fit those together with short sentences. I think its a more enjoyable read.

     Remember, when writing, to combine similar ideas into a long, well written sentence to maintain a flow. Short, choppy sentences break thought processes, but are needed occasionally to link or fit the longer sentences into a well structured paragraph. Watch how you begin your sentences. Try not to start with the same word every time and watch those adverbs (words ending in "ly"). They sound good and add texture, but are very noticeable and shouldn't be overused.