Forum Test-Out-Your-Work Evermore Chapters 1 and 2

I have posted the first 2 chapters of the novel i am currently writing and looking for feedback, if you like twisty, turny, psychological, drama, gothic, mythological, magic filled stories then feel free to have a read here is a breif snippet and an overall synopsis

[i]Evermore and is the story of a young lady called Elone, a woman who has lost her family in a terrorist attack and is falling apart emotionally as well as physically. Her dreams are haunted apocalyptic visions, and dark voices. John who is her longest and closest friend battling to keep her in one piece, and save her from her nightmares. Especially when an alleged message from iris sends their worlds into the twisted underworld of the mythological conspiricy of the Avatars.[/i]

Here is a snippet taken from the chapters i have posted

[b]Taken from a dream in Chapter 2[/b]

[i]She descends into the city, walking at one with the dead. The beasts ignore her, wary of her, they know what will become of them if they cross her path. The windows of shops are blown out, fires rage all about a thick fog of smoke and putrid death lingers. Debris lie all about, shells of vehicles crumpled and torn apart, rubble and twisted metal lie upon the shards of glass strewn through out the wasteland. Yet all moves in her presence, anything that doesnt she reduces to ash, she doesnt fight anything, she doesnt fend off the beasts, mere scavengers, she fights nothing for it is too late, she has nothing left. She kills for mere satisfaction, or in mercy, as mercy is all she has, she created their hell, she might as well bring what little salvation she can. She walks among this; all is calling out to her, she knows they all speak of her, whisper of what she has become Persephone, queen of the underworld [/i]

[b]
Taken from Chapter 1[/b]

A silent tear rolled down her cheek, as the swing creaked on. A tear of heaven sent memories, and demon like days, of crushed hopes, and unwoven dreams. She sighed a weary soulless sigh, empty of all but the grief that wracked her heart. Slowly she allowed her fingers to brush against the window, the glacial glass chilling to the touch, it felt as if she is trying to reach out grasp at ether like memories, fading in to dust, and ash.


Thanks

Peace out y'all!
Matt ::smile::