Duality Of Woman : Forum : Week 1 Topic: First Sexual Ex..


Week 1 Topic: First Sexual Experience

12 Years Ago


I always think it is interesting to look at the difference of how we hope our first time will be, how it actually was, and later how we remember it in our mind, and even how we tell the tale to other people.

Later today, I will post the story and my thoughts of my first time, what I thought it would be, what it actually was, what I remember about it now, and what I tell other people about it. Weird how one tale can have so many sides, even with just one teller. I encourage members to post something similar in response.

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12 Years Ago


I am the kind of woman that has been masturbating since I was a young child. My fingers know how to make my body sing like a fine horse hair bow could make a violin string vibrate into a brilliant burst of fine music. The distinctions of different kinds of orgasms that I learned to control and produce, well� it was empowering.

Being that kind of woman, you would assume that I probably started early in life sharing this with partners. The truth is, I was an old maid by many people�s standards. My first time I was 20 and multiple orgasms erupting from my body didn�t exactly end up on the menu, although� it wasn�t all that bad.

I never thought the first time would be sweet, slow and romantic. I rather fantasized that my first time would be hot, dirty, and f****n� life evolving. Like two cats in heat screaming through the warm air of some early fall twilight. I wanted it to be aggressive and passionate, and I wanted to lose control. And there should be some rain� somewhere too just for creative flare.

The reality was, my first lover was just as inexperienced with partners as I was, although I would have to say I was much more of a natural than he. Maybe I watched a little more porn than he did.

I was tense while waiting for him to arrive. I didn�t know what he would look like, other than he was tall and driving an Astro van from Connecticut. We had talked online and over the phone for hours and hours. We shared secrets, stories, and desires. And I, I was about to do something that night that defied who I really am, although at the time, I really didn�t know it.

I was dressed in what I thought would be a �hot� outfit. He drove from far away, in a suit, in a car with no working air conditioning, during a rather humid late June night. He was frustrated, tired, and had been promised sex, although not directly, it kind of just happen as a function of the way we met.

I was praying that I hadn�t made a mistake. When he got out of the car, I knew at that moment that I had. The reality was that I didn�t find him attractive at all. I could tell, from that moment that he wasn�t for me. But, after a six hour drive, how can you tell a guy that you changed your mind about having sex?

My fantasy first time, while created by the dirty girl side of me, was not going to happen that night. In fact, the sex was going to happen, because my pride was too strong to not want to just blow this guys socks off to send him home with some great memories. I felt dirty and not in a good way, but I wasn�t going to let him walk away thinking that everything that I said online and on the phone was one big lie.

I rented a hotel room for the night. I remember riding with him and laying out the ninety dollars for the night, which he did not contribute to, and thinking, I just paid for the loss of my fantasy.

He showered, I changed. He had OCD and Tourettes and was not very good at letting me know if he was attracted to me or if he was just going to do this to get it over.

We were awkward, in the way that virgins are. I concentrated on being the virginal porn star and he concentrated on the reality of a woman finally touching his c**k. I knew that it was important for him to have a first orgasm so that when we did have sex, he could hang on for a while. That and I thought to myself, at least he wouldn�t have driven down to Pennsylvania for nothing. So I blew him.

Based on his reaction and comments, you would have thought I have been blowing people all my life. Apparently watching porn blowjobs taught me something along the way. He was easily pleased, had a textbook dick, and was ready for more almost immediately.

In my mind, I kept thinking, I really don�t want to do this, but� I have to. It was my prerogative to go through with it, and I realized, if not now, when?

I let him ease his already alert tool into me and although it hurt a little, it was a really great feeling hurt. Like when you bite the side of your cheek and you can�t help but play with the sore broken skin. The little tingle of pain that makes your a*s tighten and the rest of you stay awake.

He clumsily pumped away and I let my mind bring me to my personal mental library of masturbation fantasies, and before I realized it, I was having an orgasm, tightening my muscles around him and milking him into the condom.

And then, in a classic stereotyped male way, he fell to the bed exhausted.

A few hours later, I still lay there thinking to myself, wondering why I went through it and what this would all mean in the morning. I realized though, that I needed to keep up my porn queen wanna be act. So at two in the morning I woke him up, scared him at first, and then assured him I was waking him up to have more sex. He was shocked, but willing to get more bang for his traveling buck.

The morning came too quickly or slowly, I�m not quite sure what I was hoping for. But it arrived, and I had to face the reality of the night before and the choices I had made. The guy, was gawky, not all that attractive, and not charismatic at all. He really had the personality of a potato.

Oddly, knowing all that about him, didn�t stop me from keeping a relationship with him going for close to seven years.

When I look back on that time, I remember it as a little dirtier than it actually was. Once and a while I think to myself it wasn�t bad really. It was sweaty from the summer, it was smelly from the sex, and it was sneaky in the way that he came all the way here to get a piece of my a*s.

When I tell other people about the story, I always make sure I review just how inept he was, but that doesn�t have a lot to do with the actual sex. It has more to do with the many years of relationship and sex we had after that first weekend. I make fun of him now, but the truth is, for set of virgins going at it, well� I think we both deserved gold stars.