I Am Woman Forum Feminism+Relationships=?

(I hope there isn't a thread like this already...If there is, please don't hurt me XD I'm new here, by the way :) )

I was wondering what are your thoughts about a feminist having a boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband? Does it make them less of a feminist?

I am a strong feminist, and I do have a boyfriend, and some people (even him) say that having a relationship kinda goes against feminism. I obviously don't think so and to be quite honest I think such thoughts are pretty much stupid.

I was hoping for some fellow feminist opinion about this. So, do you think that having a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife makes a feminist less of a feminist? 

I guess it really depends on what your opinion of feminism is. I see modern feminism as a celebration of the gender, not bra burning or repressing men. This isn't the 60's anymore and women have been liberated. In that sense, I'm not a feminist because I don't believe having a womb makes me any smarter/better than a man. 

The definition of feminism differs from person to person. However I think that feminism is defined as finding empowerment in being a woman despite the obstacles of a patriarchal society. This definition can include a wide variety of situations. For example, even my husband (also a feminist) is repressive. He does not do his share of the chores, he discounts my feelings and fears as a mother. I am patient with him and explain to him how his views are harmful to me and other women like me and what he might do to be a part of the cause and not the problem.
It's my goal as a feminist to overcome those obstacles of being in a nuclear relationship. I don't think it is my job to be the housemaid or sole caregiver of my child. These views have strongly and positively affected my husband and how we raise our son. I think I should be able to choose what I want and have my husbands full support in that. I chose to be a stay at home mom. I breastfeed. Some feminists look at this as a step back for women. There have even been arguments that mothers need to define themselves as women and not mothers and should therefor not breastfeed. I don't agree. As a feminist I recognize that there are a spectrum of circumstances that feminists exist in and they should each actively seek to right the wrongs in each situation. I want to be seen as a strong individual and also a mother. I love being a mother. I find empowerment in the capability of my body and psyche in facing and confronting child rearing head on.  It took a lot of fighting to feel empowered as a mother. There are still instances, though, when people discount me as a human being and as a mother for certain actions that they feel conflict with my ability to parent. These are the instances where being a feminist comes in handy.

No realationship should make you less of a feminist :)
However it is true that most people who don't know much about feminism have this (mostly wrong) fixed idea of how a feminist should act/live/etc. Trust me, I have a lot of personal experiences in this field ... and the confusion that comes from people when I tell them that, yes, I am a feminist, but I would like to have a traditional monogamous marriage, is almost priceless ;)
This is sort of a confused reply, but what I really wanted to say was that with all these fixed opinions/ideas that mostly don't relate to what's really going on ... I had to take a more cheerful, comic approach.

Feminism is the empowerment of women.  Its what the movement has always been and the cliched ideas from the 60's and 70's lead to a very masculine view in the 80's.  That has shifted.  You see, each decade of feminist have added to the pot and have changed the way men treat women.  The greatest tool of change is being a wife and mother.  We raise our children to become the next generation, so how we view our roles and shape theirs has always been a part of it.  The first generations just could not see the effect.  I really do believe it is a power thing.  I was raised with brothers who babysat for extra money, cooked and did laundry in the 70's.  I have a husband who is the polar opposite, but has morphed into another person since being married to me.  No changing diapers lasted about 2 weeks until every one else left us.  He is now chief carpool operator since I commute.  I've just used all the tools at my disposal to promote the change.