Meat Of Joy (close Reading Club) Forum 38 By Shemena Campbell

Close reading by Stevie Jean Reed
excerpt from "38" by : Shemena C.




My son sees me on my 38th birthday,
(as she perhaps sees herself, a mirror)
As I saw my grandmother,
Apronclad (like iron clad), and from behind (faceless),
Shiny pot in hot-gloved hand (shes been working too hard.
Adressing that 38 is relatively "old" and the way she see's her gran in the role of house maker is both appealing and revolting)
Not that girl in that picture,
With wrong shade lipstick,
( she refers to an older pic of herself PRE-baby
before she knew herself well, hence the wrong lipstick,
hair without style or direction)
Hair too long
And loose. (aside from pre-current self..its seems to suggest
of state of mind and living)

Soothing his howling continence
With fingertips light (the iconic gestures of good motherhood, soft and consoling) across his
Red, snarling brow,
(here "continence" has a formal/removed hospital quality for me
then animal quality with his red snarling brow )
I am reminded of when
I spared him a lack of foreskin.
(His constant basic needs reminds her of HER need.
Her "spared" foreskin is an interp. of the burden its may cause her and the baby)
Really, sheer laziness ( as in the sharp sheers so prone to circumcision and somtimes regretful apathy)
A little fear (of not relating the penis she "knows")
Because once I stared down balefully while
Another man pinned his naked penis with embroidery needles.
(A baleful stare suggesting a removed quality within its surreal context
the "embroidery" further suggesting surrealism, and the word giving it the familiar quality)
For my pleasure.(comfort)
And I admit (confessional of "sin") with real anger
And hatred for him (the mother fearing to devour son)
That I enjoyed it.
('Real anger', meaning self concious anger toward the self
that she "enjoyed" being the executioner)
Survivor has the same metallic taste as victim now,
Not always so, ( Metallic taste of a blow..blood....victim becomes survivor not always do people "survive" )
But now it's an old, rusty nail,
On which to hang sable mink shame.
( work a day object of the old 'rusty nail'
contrasts the sleek premeditated reason for shame- A silky
but brutally aquired mink of shame)


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Wow. I have been EXPLICATED! ::biggrin:: Whattatrip.

Course, you've been doing that for, what now, about 15 years? Hehe.

S.

did i get some right? haha, youre an easy target JK...plus i know you wont be pissed if im totally off LOL