Sci-fi & Fantasy Group Forum monarchy of wolves commentary.

General thoughts on constructive improvement:

1. Take the old adage "show, don't tell" to heart.  Let it guide your writing.  You have a clear idea of the setting, characters and plot dynamics, but don't give away so much information so quickly.  There is too much exposition.  Keep what you know close to your chest and give the information to the reader in the course of your writing though character and plot development.

2. Pick your point of view and stick with it.  You start with history channel style narration, then switch to the point of view of a wolf, then quickly switch to the group following the wolf, and then to one individual in the group.  IMHO, that is too many POV shifts, too quickly.  I would suggest sticking with one view at least for the length of an entire chapter.

Keep 'em coming.