The Review Club : Forum : CC's discussion


CC's discussion

16 Years Ago


This is the place to discuss any of CC's pieces

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Kim,

Thank you for the review on chapters 5-6. I have to say that, as usual, I found your comments extraordinarily helpful. I really had a hard time with that dream sequence -- in fact, it held up progression on the novel for a whole week (a very cranky week) -- and your comments about style ways to make it more exciting really hit the nail on the head. I think you're right about using language to make the scene more scattered and disorienting (because that in itself ups the scary level), and, now that I've gotten further into the novel and gotten a better idea about the significance of the dream, there's a lot more I can do with it. So thanks, again, for the tip (which I am totally going to use).

-cc

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Excellent! I'm glad it was helpful.

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


I took down all of Asylum today. I wanted to thank all of you that reviewed it. Your feedback means a lot to me. It's going to go through some major revisions, so I want to do that first before I let any of you spend more time on it as is. But thank you, again.

Oh, and Julie, you made my day. I'm so glad you liked it.

-cc

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Quote:
Originally posted by C C Holtman
I took down all of Asylum today. I wanted to thank all of you that reviewed it. Your feedback means a lot to me. It's going to go through some major revisions, so I want to do that first before I let any of you spend more time on it as is. But thank you, again.

Oh, and Julie, you made my day. I'm so glad you liked it.

-cc


BAH... I only got to review 3 chapters ::sleepy::

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Hey CC, I've read The Things You Wanted twice. Once a while back and just a few days ago. Both times I had a hard time connecting with it in terms of reviewing. I just don't know how I feel about it. So many areas are a little grey to me to really give any input. For now I've decided not to review it. I hope you don't mind.

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


I've been tardy about thanking reviewers and following up on comments.

So, thank you, all of you.

A few things that come to mind, I especially appreciate all of the feedback guessing at the meaning of the Nine Gifts prologue. The whole point of a prologue, at least in my mind, is to hint at the greater meaning of a piece, give the reader a sense of what's to come, tone, etc., so getting the initial impressions of the 9G prologue has been very very helpful to the much later decision of whether to keep it, change it, etc.

Also, I appreciate the positive comments. As a work very much in progress (as in only 6 chapters in), it's nice to know that I'm not wasting time.

Finally, the edits on the prologue, I couldn't appreciate you guys more. You picked out all the little things that didn't quite sit right in my head and hit on what's wrong with them so I can fix it. Much, MUCH appreciated.

I hope you all will read the first chapter and tell me what you think of the juxtaposition between the content and tone of the prologue and the way Lukas starts. And of Malachi and his role in the story. (I hope it's not a problem like you think, Cameron, because that's totally not the metaphor that I'm going for with him.)

-cc

PS, Belle, I know ominiousness isn't a word. I just want "ominous" for the description and there's no good noun form! So I made one up, which I know sucks. Maybe I should put this in the cool word thread. Help on a word for that description!

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Quote:
Originally posted by C C Holtman

PS, Belle, I know ominiousness isn't a word. I just want "ominous" for the description and there's no good noun form! So I made one up, which I know sucks. Maybe I should put this in the cool word thread. Help on a word for that description!


Ha! Ha! I KNEW you made up that word. I enjoyed rolling it around for sound and texture, but if I was in a play, and had to pronounce it, I'd choke. ::tongue:: I looked in a thesauraus briefly to find something else, but wasn't sure exactly what you were going after. The cool word thread might be just the place for this one!!

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Brent,

Thank you for the review.

I think you're probably right about many of those lines simply being too much for one sentence. The edits are great, and those lines are definitely shaking out as common denominator problems.

I'm glad to hear your impressions of the greater novel from the prologue. It is a novel with a great deal of sadness and I'm glad that tone is conveyed.

I want to thank all of you again for reviewing the prologue. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with it. This is a scene that repeats at the dead center of the novel (not the climax, but around the physical center, at least structurally) that I wrote first because it presents an image that, to me, is central to the meaning of the novel. I figured I'd see if it works as a prologue. That said, does anybody have additional comments about keeping this as a prologue or simply using it in it's assigned place in the body (when I get there)?

-cc

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Tom,

Thank you for the review of Things. For various reasons that I don't want to get into, I sort of wasn't sure what the decision of the narrator at the end was going to be and I wasn't sure about the inclusion of Him. I'm now completely sure that Him needs to be reworked, strengthened, made rounder and more comprehensible to the reader, and part of that is adding the obvious anger of a man in this situation. BUT, in my defense, men do sometimes WANT to talk about relationship problems (including alpha males). I could also say that "talk" would be the female language way of explaining a fight, but that would be defensive bullshit. He needs more details (including imagery in the section that deals more with THAT relationship) and anger. Things is up to bat fairly soon for revision, so I'll definitely work on it.

And thank you all for the comments on the story. I'll be taking it down in the next few days, so if you're desperately curious (you aren't missing that much) read it now. And think happy thoughts that the revision will get it into publication form for me.

-cc

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Hi guys,

I'm probably going to be pretty MIA for the next few weeks. The bar exam is July 24-25 and more than enough to keep me busy for 36 hours a day (what a pity I only have 24). I'll try to pop in once in a while, and be back regularly by the end of July. Sorry and thanks for the understanding.

-cc

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Good luck!

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Don't do drugs the day before the exam!

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Wow, it's been a long time since I used this thread. I suck.

I want to thank everybody that I haven't directly replied to for the fabulous reviews. Malenkov, you and your big, amazing reviews... I'm still processing, if you can believe it. Rob, great individual line comments, and I'm still thinking about your questions about what this means as a novel opening. I know what it means, but that comment gives me pause, wondering if maybe I need to put a little more of the wondering story hook in the front. These are just two of my more recent reviews, and it's been so long since I've talked back that I don't mean to neglect anybody... I thank you all and have thought about all of your reviews.

As my most recent, Nick, I want to respond a little bit more. I think you've hit on some good things with the rambling lines. This is my first draft, and that is something I tend to do, so it's good to have some flags for where to revise that out. Specifically, the secretary is a tart, and Luke's reaction to her is a smidge of foreshadowing, although it could be softer, so I think you got the right impression. And, hey, I'm a lawyer and I have a couple pairs of three inch stiletto heels that I wear regularly. :P Believe it or not, in Denver the numbered streets run east/west, which is probably explained by how important west is to the city and it's growth. Downtown... I try not to deal with the cardinal directions downtown because everything runs on an angle for some reason, so the numbered streets run sorta south-west. I think you're right about the direction stuff though. Nobody cares, and I can probably just drop the important landmarks with a lot less directional blather. As for the past tense sense that the last line gives you, I gotta fix that. Because somewhere around chapter 3 or 4 I realized that the tenses were getting kinda layered and confused and switched everything to present tense, so I don't want a past tense feeling for a novel that will ultimately be primarily a present tense novel. That's a good reminder to me to bring the tone in the first few chapters into line with the later chapters, something that always seems like a problem for me, because I start without much of an idea what I'm doing.

Overall, thank you all for giving such a slacker such great reviews. I swear I'm going to work on reviewing this weekend. Really. This job search is starting to feel like a full time job.... Hey Rob, any tips for getting that first legal job?

-cc

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Hey CC, how's the search for articles going? I came out in a bad period -- when less than 1 in 10 graduates were getting jobs. I was a bit arrogant, as I thought I had a job at a large firm lined-up (which I didn't), because I turned down a summer job working for them and maintained a close relationship with the recruiters. Well, the recruiters didn't make the final decisions. So I had to scramble. I didn't have articles until October! Started just before Halloween. I literally faxed my resume to every firm I could off the computer. Did a few interviews with smaller firms, and wound up with accepting $20K at a personal injury firm. Ugh! My studies were in corporate/commercial, IP and securities/tax, without any intention to do litigation. Now, of course, I've shifted by practice to basically corporate/commercial, IP and securities/tax. Took a few years. But the key is to get something secured, as your practice will evolve anyways as your client base shifts. Good luck!

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


(Like my artsy fartsy title, huh, huh? :P )

Anyway. I think you're right, Tom. There's not enough, well, of anything, in this chapter. And those insurance reports have to be slimmed down. They aren't important enough to get that much space. I think you've got a great idea about Megaphone Man. Maybe not in exactly that order, but I'm thinking maybe move up the trip to the coffee store, have him meet Megaphone Man in the street sooner, and have the prophesies keep drifting up to his office and interrupting him? What do you think?

The think about the barista, yep, tongue in cheek, and deliberately so. I want the reader to stop and notice that, because she matters, later, in a BIG way. It's not just a cute reference, but the first introduction of the most important secondary character in the next section. Does that relieve your concerns?

-cc