The Society of American Writers Forum Writing a Mystery and need som..

Hey guys^_^ So i'm a_young_dreamer and I mostly work with fantasy but I like to mix it up a bit and right now i'm working on a mystery/tragedy. So My book is called "My First Dead Body" (yeah the names a bit ify) and its about a girl who... like the title says... sees her first dead body and it's about all the crazy stuff that happens to her after that ultimately leads too... okay well you need to read it^_^   So I was wondering If any of you could pop over and leave me a comment or two about how i can improve and what needs to be changed. Im purely new at mysteries and I don't pretend NOT to be. So i'd be great if I could get everyone's guidence... you don't even have to by a mystery writer just someone who enjoys to read them!   Anyways thanx in advance ~Dreamer