The Traveling Librarians Forum Reviews for Casey

Okay, let's see if this works better - post all reviews for my stuff here. Include the title of the piece(s) either in the title bar if available or else at the beginning of each review.  This way, I can respond to your reviews and vice versa.  Let's see if this works better!   Here's my replies to Abby's two reviews:             Contemplation - I'm glad the spooky came across!  The guy is incredibly creepy and I enjoy writing him as creeptastic as possible.  I definitely agree that I probably started too many sentences with 'he' and if I were to go back and do more with this (doubtful since it's such a short little thing), I would rearrange sentences definitely to make less of them start with 'he'.  As for the sentence you pointed out, I see what you're saying.  It's a little more complicated than just bait, though, which is why I think the sentence works - but granted, you'd need to know more about the guy and the girl/young woman and their relationship to get it.  Maybe I'll post some snippets from that story (or the couple other prompts I've done featuring them) at a later point!  As I told you, it's already a novel of about 65k words with both these characters so I did expand it - he's just too much fun!             Attempted Assassination - I try to keep my characters as 'human' as possible by adding the little traits so I'm glad that came across :)  The quotes in that sentence is actually formatting error when converting from Word to their system.  It's supposed to read: "With a high vaulted ceiling and wide windows - some stained to depict famous historical events - the room was a kaleidoscope of colors on a sunny day." I'll have to watch that from now on when copy/pasting over to here.  Ah, I agree on both your grammatical suggestions and I'll fix those ASAP!  As we talked about, it's not much more than a limp wrist toss but I'll explain a bit more, since Jasmine doesn't have any fighting skills to speak of at this point in the story.  Aww, thanks so much!  I'm glad it has potential - this is from a story that is super near and dear to my heart!  Actually, this is the first draft of this piece (and this is the third or fourth draft of this scene) that Elladan has ever spoken.  Usually he is a silent minor presence, but I thought he deserved a few lines.  He's actually about double Jasmine's age and has a daughter who is Jasmine's best friend at this point in the story.  Within a few paragraphs of this, Jasmine leaves Elladan's castle and doesn't ever come back.

Well those comments make me just want to read more! That seems like a good thing!

I have no idea what I'm doing - but glad they got you curious, Abby :D   paragraphs?   working?   Test?!

testing.

Blah, blah, blah.

Did the spacing work?

Trying today...   Paragaphs?   Yes/No?   Maybe?

Does it work when I c/p from Word and just not when I type it directly? I am copying and pasting this from Word Will it work? Will it not? TEST!