To Be Heard... Forum Introduce yourself here.

I am the moderator of this group. I've been writing since I was in 8th grade and I didn't get into it as much as I am now until 10th grade. In the past 4 years I've been through more things that a young person should go through. I've dealt with anger issues, I started to not care about myself anymore and started hurting myself and almost O.D. one night taking energy pills and alcohol.
I don't drink anymore, I don't hurt myself anymore, and I don't use drugs anymore. From all of this I've learned that when you have someone who is there for you no matter what and won't judge you for anything you do makes things a little easier to deal with. I had to go through this on my own and it was the hardest 4 years of my life.
Sometimes I still want to let myself fall back to those moments in my life, but I've found things to help me not fall back into that again and that has been writing.

The point of this group is to have a place for people to be heard. This is a place for people to post their writings to get advice, or just reviews on. This is a place when you have something to say and there's no one to say it to. This is a place where if you need someone to talk to you can find someone to listen here.

If you need something more than just talking please call a hotline:
Suicide is not the answer and neither is hurting yourself. If you think you are going to do one of these things please call the hotline.
1-800-SUICIDE= 1-800-784-2433
1-800-273-TALK= 1-800-273-8255

Hi everybody,
Well I guess this is me introducing myself, having just pressed the 'join' button. Whoa does it ever feel like one of those AA meetings you see on tv.
Okay then... Hi, I'm Desideria and I am scared. I think. I guess. It really is hard to put a word on it. Emotionally messed up beyond repair?
I admit I was not going to join until I read Jamie's post. A lot of that is true here. I know so many young people out there go through horrible things and sometimes I feel like there is nothing I can say to compare with a kid in Sudan having seen his parents been murdered or a street soldier in Brazil. I don't know, maybe I am making a fuss, maybe I am lucky. But then again Britney sang that and look what happened there.
Seems like I have a habit of confusing people with my words.
I am graduating university soon, heading off into life. I am eighteen too. Whatever reaction that gives, believe me that is not the prime reason for my messed up ness. So keep wondering.
I think I have been through more than I should have been, or more than I would want a kid to go through. All the while I have mastered this skill very particular for me; I never talk about it. My friends, the close knit really good friends as well as the rest, gave up a long time ago in trying to pry information or emotions from me. Now they just wait patiently, or simply keep talking. Some do a really lousy job and cannot handle the fact that I smile and never cry openly. Some I love so dearly because even though they don't get it they have stopped pushing. They just reassure me every once in a while. I love them for it.
Still, I am scared to death of what damage I might cause anyone who came too close. I am lonely as hell because even though there are all these people I know they are not what I need to open up. They are not who I can lay it all out on. They are amazing, but they are not it...
I always wanted a big brother, because in my mind they are perfect. They hold you and make everything okay. Never had one though, so I wouldn't honestly know.
I'm pretty sure I have the alcoholic or drug self destruct genetics too. I drink, occassionally, but am very careful most of the times never to get even tipsy. It happens, and then it is bad, but I tend to have a very stubborn determination. I have this will/mind power thing going where I debate myself out of all the stupid things I would want to do by proclaiming what a coward I'd be or how hurting myself leads to no answers or easy roads.
I guess the only way of ever saying this stuff is through the written word, and I just recently thought about doing this. Admitting this stuff... Crazy I guess...

There, that's me in a very short shell... Dark and twisted, not at all.

Hugs to all of you,
Desideria
[email protected]
if you ever need anything or wanna talk. i'm also known as the group therapist for some reason, really funny actually... always saving people, never being saved I guess.

Hello, my name is Tyka (pronouced Tee-ka) and I'm 15. I just really got into writing maybe about a year or 2 ago, The main reason I got into writing was because I have a hard expressing myself and emotions. I've been almost forced to grow up before I was ready, even at the age of 15 I feel like I'm 40. I don't like to get close to people afraid I might get hurt if I let them in, because of this I got lonely and angry. My pent up anger and furstration led to cutting and anger problems. I found writing to be a safe harbor in my ocean of confusion and despair. In my journal, my own world, my imgination could run free. Without the constant worry of what others might think. In my world I could be me. I'm proud to say I don't cut anymore and I have gotten my anger under control. I know who I am and my strong sense of self helps me not care what other people think. Thanx to my two bestest friends ever, we've all been able to rise above cutting and have somewhat gotten our lifes back on track, if there ever was a track to begin with. So.. yeah... I can't think of anything else to say so I think I'll leave it there. ^^

I am actually surprised how this is turning out so far. It's in a good way though. It kind of gave me chills that just starting this group I've gotten people to join and start opening up. It's hard to open up to a friend. I still have two sides of me because my friends don't know the real me. At times I feel like I should stop hiding and let them know the full me, but then I have the fear of being judged. I've already lost too many friends trying to open up to them. I guess it shows who your real friends are. Anyways. Sometimes talking to someone you don't know can really help. Especially on this site. There's no judging people. It's just listening to their problems and not knowing really anything about them. I hope we can continue to get this group to grow. I'm glad some are posting emails for if anyone needs to talk, but don't neglect your own needs either. Sometimes we help others just so we can find excuses not to deal with our own problems.

<3

Well my name is Bianka and i don't think I've ever had problems like you guys have . . . but i have a few friends who do have problems. I hate seeing them that way and try to help, but i don't think theres much that i can do.

I'd consider myself the quiet type. As long as I don't trust you I won't tell you nothing personal or laugh openly. When I'm around just a few certain people, I don't care what I do, I just want to have fun with those certain people. These certain people are mostly family and a select few close friends. I keep to myself, and when I'm sure you won't diss me or make me feel bad I'll open up. (Thats with friends and family).

I agree with you on having two sides. Being one way at school and another at home. For me at some point w/ family or friends I can be me and not one of the sides.

My e-mail:
[email protected]
[email protected]
tegaria = on aim

hmm...where do I start?lol...
Well my name is Taja-aka-tj, I will be 17 in may. I like to write poetry, short stories, and just writing in general. Normally i am a nice person, at first I could be kind of quiet, but as you get to know me, you'll come to find out that im a cool person with a weird but good sense of humor. I am also one of the most weird and random people you'll ever meet...lol...like sometimes I do things spontaneously or say something out of nowhere!lol....its kind of funny if you think about it...
I also love to play sports, especially volleyball and recently softball, and I like having fun with my friends and chilling...
but, despite of that, I do have some problems....sometimes I feel so lonely in this world, its scary, and by writing, it releases all of those problems inside of me. Plus I have(at least, most of the time) have been teased as a kid and sometimes I'm still teased as a high school junior. So my self esteem sometimes was kind of low, and also, I seemed very reserved to other people and sometimes I have a hard time opening up because I can't really trust people in result of people making fun of me and stuff....
But, suprisingly, I made some friends-most of them associates and some even close, but even to my close friends, I don't feel like telling them how I really feel because I'm afriad that they wouldn't really like hanging out with a troubled girl....

Well if you want to know anything more about me, then just ask me! go and visit my profile if you want...(and I cant believe that I wrote all of that in the last 3 paragraphs....lol)

Hello!! I am fifteen, somehow I feel older though. Strange, yet true. Some say I sound like an older person when I write..ahh! I have always loved writing. I have been writing since third grade when I wrote my own version of Animal Farm after reading and not fully understand the book (I was...eight?). Haha, I find that a little strange, I have read the book again and it is one of my favorites. But, I write because it is very healing to me and I hope it helps others heal as well. But anyways, my sister S. A. Heistand invited me to the group and I am very excited!!

::biggrin::

Well, what is there to say? My name is Alex B, but most people call me Brightside, probably due to how I write. I'm 16, and as so many 16 year olds do, I like darker themed pieces, as you'll see from my own work. I prefer to write stories, but apparently I am at least moderately skilled at writing poems. Anyway, I joined this site after realizing that the blogs on MySpace are almost a waste of effort.

My main motive for starting to post here instead of MySpace was/is to get more feedback on my stuff. I've decided that I'm going to leave my random thoughts and conspiracy theories on there, and put my actual writing here, where it can be appreciated. I'm always happy to get any sort of criticism, and I'd like to get something published one day (Surprise? I think not...), maybe even to the point of writing full time.

I repress a lot. I was trying to come up with an impressing number of years that I've been writing, but I could only think of two instances when I was between the ages of five and nine. Then it all switched over to drawing artistic interpretations of horses, kittens, and rainbows.

Around five I would receive those ridiculous American Girl magazines my parents used to think that I liked and having the overactive imagination that all ankle-biters experience back them, I came up with my own ideas of the suave paper dolls they'd chuck amidst the paper drama. I remember looking at that doll and saying, "I'd like to stick you in a zoo." I came up with my own backstory and her little friends, complete with love interest (thanks to the Disney, I was a lovey-dovey mess back then). I may have been influenced by Jurassic Park at the time because my little crew was stuck in the Pittsburgh zoo full of escapee, psycho animals. I don't know how it ended or if it even was finished (my monster of a exstepfather may have threw it away when caught trying to sneak into my room), but I hope that lil' b***h of a paper doll was torn to shreds and bits of weak, laminated paper.

Then there was the time of when I was nine or so and I wrote incessant poems about horses. I submitted it to Poetry.com, what I thought was a website of Top Merit Poets (bullshit, I say! the money-grubbin' bags of buttkissin' horse grime!) and then to some off the wall, cheesy web layout website where I "WON FIRST PLACE!" which -evidently- was a kaleidoscope which I never saw come in the mail. Actually, I hadn't even found out that I won until two to three years ago when I Googled my name and saw that that happy trip down memory avenue appeared. The poem was entitled "Whisper" and it was so depressing and filled with horsey, mushy woe that it made my mother cry. I don't know why my mother cried--I don't know why she continues to cry when she reads my stuff, but she does. Today she told me she read "Pap Pap's Place Burnt Down" and cried. Pap Pap lived in a motor home, so I don't think she missed the place or anything; she said my poem was "prolific."

However, we all know how parents can be about our work. Okay, maybe some.

My dad absolutely -hates- the stuff I write. That's probably why most of my acclaimed S**t is about him (and countless other fucked up males in my life) and why I'm living with my friend and her family in a totally different county.

My life has its ups and...downs, but I use it to the best of my ability. I idolize Stephen King, so naturally I want to be like him someday and all good writers have their hectic backstories. Not that I f**k up my life on purpose.

That's me. That's my writing. That is life in my words.

I like to be called Henry, so please feel free to go with that when ever the passion drifts you. It was once a joke amongst galpals about an exboyfriend gone sour and then grew to my liking, so happy-happy-joy-joy to that.

My humor and my writing is crude, but as a fellow teenager, I'm sure you'll understand where I'm coming from. We're young, our lives all suck, and we're all so similarly different.

Well, I guess I'll introduce myself. My name is Breezie (not my real name, just in case you couldn't tell) and I am a 13 year old girl who is stuck in the past and has been for, say, 2 years now? I have been writing for a long time, but I really started writing stuff that wasn't utter cliche crap and not literally about sunshine and flowers in the 6th grade. I write poetry because it's a way to let my emotions out and connect myself, and say the things I can't find words for.

And now for the whole "lets all open up about our problems" stuff. Basically, my entire life, or at least since about 6th grade because before that I was pretty much an entirely different person, everything has been about was hasn't happened, or what I haven't done, and all I do is waste even more time, and make the same mistakes over and over again. And yes, I have only told two people this, but I am depressed. The main reason I don't tell anyone is because, they probably won't take it seriously. So many words are used so often and so lightly, that they lose all of their meaning, like love, and depression, and regret. In a way I feel more mature. Everyone thinks that they know what it feels like to hurt, and what love feels like, but they seldom actually do. Most of my friends have these month-long relationships and they claim they love the person, but they don't. They are in love with the idea of love, and they can't tell the difference between love and lust, but that's not their fault. I probably sound just like some whiny teenager, and I probably am. All I know is I do have a problem. I'm not supposed to get so caught up in something like this. Not him. You would think that after so long, it would just go away. Sometimes I feel like I look for excuses to be depressed. In a way I do not feel like myself when I am content. In a way, I have come to know myself. Everytime I think I'm over something, it just comes back to hit me again, only harder. I've been mourning over something for a very long time (as in years) and I really don't have a clue what it is. But as much as I hate my life, I would never trade it for someone else's. In simpler terms, I'm waiting for something real, and for now, I just want to be. One day, maybe what I say will matter, and maybe I won't screw things up even more on the way. Maybe.

yo...!
im Butterfly!!
i got into writing in 7th grade as an escape from everything that was fucked up in life. writing has been muh way of letting go of a lot of things that ive gone thru in muh life. (and yes, when i post poetry, stories, ect. i do actually clean up muh grammer and spelling.) so yea... thats about it. if you wnt to get to kno me... read muh poems. they say a lot more about me than most ne thing else could tell you. ::cool::