Underground Writers Network : Forum : Challenge of the Week #8


Challenge of the Week #8

17 Years Ago


Sorry this time the challenge came a little late, let's make it a short one so that everyone has time to post until Sunday as always ;)

The challenge is simple. Fill in the blanks in the passage below and see what funnies you can come up with. I have taken the passage from a non-fiction book.


Quote:
As a rule, you only need ____ ____ ____. Anything else, you've pretty much already ____ ____ on the back of a ____ or can get with a quick phone call to ____ ____.

So I found I hard to fathom exactly why, upon returning from a ____ ____ ____ ____, I ____ into my living room to find that Dave and I were now the proud owners of around 120 pristine condition ____ ____.

We had a ____ ____ for ____. And for ____. And ____. And Wrecsam a Gogledd Ddwrain Cymru (or Wrexham and North East Wales, if you'd prefer). And yet, as far as I could see, all we really needed was ____ ____ ____.

Dave was clearly ____ ____. This wasn't good news.



Have fun and be creative! Let's have a laugh or two ;)

[no subject]

17 Years Ago


haha, okay... here is one someone sent, they preferred to stay anonymous... but here it goes ;)

Quote:
As a rule, you only need love love love. Anything else, you've pretty much already
stowed away on the back of a pickup or can get with a quick phone call to your dealer.
So I found I hard to fathom exactly why, upon returning from a job with the Russians, I stagger into my living room to find that Dave and I were now the proud owners of around 120 pristine condition unemployed huntsmen.
We had a merry run for Edinburgh. And for Newcastle. And Manchester. And Wrecsam a Gogledd Ddwrain Cymru (or Wrexham and North East Wales, if you'd prefer). And yet, as far as I could see, all we really needed was
well armed conservationalists.
Dave was clearly feeling charitable. This wasn't good news.

[no subject]

17 Years Ago


As a rule, you only need your hand, a movie, and lubrication. Anything else, you've pretty much already knocked off on the back of a bathtub or can get with a quick phone call to Sarah McWhore.

So I found it hard to fathom exactly why, upon returning from a massive wolrd wide orgy, I slinked into my living room to find that Dave and I were now the proud owners of around 120 pristine condition glass d***o.

We had a sex marathon for Mary. And for Artimus. And him. And Wrecsam a Gogledd Ddwrain Cymru (or Wrexham and North East Wales, if you'd prefer). And yet, as far as I could see, all we really needed was ourselves, a movie, and lube.

Dave was clearly sexually uncomfortable. This wasn't good news.



WARNING__I WAS WRITING THIS 3 AM

[no subject]

17 Years Ago


As a rule, you only need alcohol, sex, sheep. Anything else, you've pretty much already got anyway on the back of a camel or can get with a quick phone call to Tony Blair.

So I found it hard to fathom exactly why, upon returning from a expedition to some place, I fell into my living room to find that Dave and I were now the proud owners of around 120 pristine condition Saxon burglars.

We had a much cheesecake for days. And for weeks. And the next ten years. And Wrecsam a Gogledd Ddwrain Cymru (or Wrexham and North East Wales, if you'd prefer). And yet, as far as I could see, all we really needed was a soft tissue.

Dave was clearly getting frantic. This wasn't good news.

[no subject]

17 Years Ago


My efffort is here:

Entitled: Where Men are Men and Sheep are Worried.

I am aware that someone else has 'incorporated' sheep into their piece. But as soon as I spotted the Welsh angle, I simply couldn't resist. ::smile::

P.S: That middle line about Wrexham was a swine to work with and I haven't managed to make anything sensible around it.

[no subject]

17 Years Ago


Quote:
Originally posted by Valerie Jones
Sorry this time the challenge came a little late, let's make it a short one so that everyone has time to post until Sunday as always ;)

The challenge is simple. Fill in the blanks in the passage below and see what funnies you can come up with. I have taken the passage from a non-fiction book.


Quote:
As a rule, you only need luck and skill. Anything else, you've pretty much already pissed away on the back of a pony or can get with a quick phone call to your bookie.

So I found it hard to fathom exactly why, upon returning from a stint at the track, I sauntered into my living room to find that Dave and I were now the proud owners of around 120 pristine condition Madonna statues.

We had a religious icon for Canterbury. And for Westminster. And basilicas. And Wrecsam a Gogledd Ddwrain Cymru (or Wrexham and North East Wales, if you'd prefer). And yet, as far as I could see, all we really needed was a good fence.

Dave was clearly seeking redemption. This wasn't good news.



Have fun and be creative! Let's have a laugh or two ;)

[no subject]

17 Years Ago


Tony ( asked me to post this one for him

Quote:
As a rule, you only need free range chicken. Anything else, you've pretty much already saw sitting on the back of a menu or can get with a quick phone call to Denver, Colorado.

So I found I hard to fathom exactly why, upon returning from a six day excursion west. I sauntered into my living room to find that Dave and I were now the proud owners of around 120 pristine condition featherless chickens.

We had a hungering need for chicken. And for pot. And Funions. And Wrecsam a Gogledd Ddwrain Cymru (or Wrexham and North East Wales, if you'd prefer). And yet, as far as I could see, all we really needed was a long nap.

Dave was clearly messed up. This wasn't good news.



I am having so much fun reading all of these, you guys are awesome. My sides hurt, lol.

[no subject]

17 Years Ago


don't worry, it's ture all you need is sheep, according to my lawyer

[no subject]

17 Years Ago



Charged with sodomising a beast, are we?

Wel......hm......yeah, me too.

There was a great story in the British tabloid press (gutter press) a while back about a guy caught 'making love' to a goat in a field when a train laden with passengers came to a stop alongside the field.

Seeing that he had a most unwelcome audience, he sharply pulled up his pants but was later identified, wait for it, by goat hairs in his underpants.

Superb fodder for the tabloids!

[no subject]

17 Years Ago


This is my first challenge...bear with me...

Quote:
As a rule, you only need seven green acorns. Anything else, you've pretty much already hidden away on the back of a ferret or can get with a quick phone call to that guy.

So I found I hard to fathom exactly why, upon returning from a six week desert cruise, I vaulted into my living room to find that Dave and I were now the proud owners of around 120 pristine condition porceline buddhas.

We had a zen party for Kiva. And for Greg. And Nancy. And Wrecsam a Gogledd Ddwrain Cymru (or Wrexham and North East Wales, if you'd prefer). And yet, as far as I could see, all we really needed was a nice cheesecake.

Dave was clearly eyeing Greg. This wasn't good news.

[no subject]

17 Years Ago


Okay, we have one vote for the first entry and one vote for Tony's entry. We need more votes to decide ;)

[no subject]

17 Years Ago


How do I vote? Where do I vote? I am so confused.

[no subject]

17 Years Ago


okay sorry it was late..
but here's my entry.

As a rule, you only need a knife, a spigot, and a fish. Anything else, you've pretty much already have in the kitchen on the back of a stove or can get with a quick phone call to the hardware store.

So I found I hard to fathom exactly why, upon returning from a long day at the lake fishing, I came into my living room to find that Dave and I were now the proud owners of around 120 pristine condition blue-gill catfish.

We had a to filet for hours. And for hours. And hours. And Wrecsam a Gogledd Ddwrain Cymru (or Wrexham and North East Wales, if you'd prefer). And yet, as far as I could see, all we really needed was a couple subzero deepfreezes.

Dave was clearly sick of fish. This wasn't good news.

[no subject]

17 Years Ago


I received one more vote for Tony's piece, so he'll be featured this week.

Congrats Tony!

Also, when it's time for voting, remember to just choose your favorite and reply right here saying who you are voting for :)

Hope you are all having a great Tuesday ;)