so i left in a huff but i'm back now. during my absence i continued to read and write but have apparently become less coherent due to the increasing difficulty of my subject matter. it is not my aim to be an elitist. but what's the point of reading if the material isn't challenging? it doesn't make sense to spend your entire life reading voraciously while your brain is consistently atrophying. instead of running in the wheel, i endeavor to push it, and everyone else's, until we recognize the wheels' decay and attempt to construct new ones. (as patching is a massively inefficient and pointless measure.) in other words, there are problems, we cannot address them until we recognize them, we cannot recognize them until we step out of our comfort zones. so, in my reading i reach back to those who attempted to use the entirety of human knowledge to address personal and societal ills. i then allow their readings, influences, and theories to heavily influence my writing. ultimately i will absorb enough of their knowledge to become a stepping stone for others. until then you are welcome to suffer with me.