4 AM PANIC

about a dream i had that kept me awake half the night... and i woke up feeling really jealous, and now im questioning a lot of things...

I might have seen the moon today

the day just seems so overshadowed

by thoughts I hope I dreamt

so I can blame every ounce of feeling on my screwed up subconscious

 

I think it was pouring outside

but all I was staring at was the ceiling

and I couldn't hear the droplets touching the roof

with their incandescent fingertips

because of all the life encompassing me

between either ear

 

I think some things just get out of control

because I can't get you of my head
to be completely honest with myself,

it's just something you said

something I woke up to

but really,

it was only a dream

 

so now

I feel I am forced

by an invisible hand

that perhaps is my own doing

to double check everything

ever thought

to try and iron everything out

for the sake

of my backpedaling sanity

and the selfevaluations

before closing the door

 

said thoughts were hardly present beforehand

of that much I'm sure

but upon cross-examination...

what if I'm wrong?

and everything up until now

has meant more to me

than I let on to myself

(quite honestly, that scares me half to death)

I sound so serious now

but it kept me up half the night

mulling things over

so I am almost at a loss for action

because I do so prefer my words

but I can't tell what MIGHT happen

when I am too unsure of what WILL happen

unsurprising metaphors

give way to the appropriate means for surviving

in today's world

because frankly,

it's a jungle out there...

cardboard or not

and some days,

it's hard enough to see three inches in front of your nose

much less three days

 

so where is the line drawn

across a schedule

for a due request for action

is it simply imaginary?

or are shards deep-set in their reality?

the curves and edges are blurring

and it ends up being me deciphering you

(as a generality, that is)

much less, as the liability

my eyes tell me you are

 

things are just so obvious

when you are objective

first person makes it so much more intimate

even still when interconnecting webs

are frail

and at least three quarters misunderstood

the gilt edges

are threadbare,

so hardly used,

yet some things remain unchanged

constants in a swiftly moving universe

so many things called under fire

 

the nothings I never thought to consider

now represent themselves

as conscious effort

of one trying to appear off radar

but starting to think....

I dwell on things

now

more than I did

calling you into question

as a caricature

and a feeling

of both good and bad

intertwining

the freezing and the melting

just enough so there's an aftershock

but even initially

maybe I never thought it through enough

come to think of it,

I never thought of you as three dimensional before

 

"...well, you're really pretty..."

 

Author's Note

not so sure about stanza breaks... *updated, by the way*

Reviews

[Jules]

I think a few stanzas could be split up a little bit, but other than that this was a really, really good poem!! I LOVED your use of vocabulary. Very good work! Thanks again for entering!

[Kimmee Jean]

i really like it but i think if the stanzas were a bit more broken up ...it would add more but its your writting!

KEEPING ON TRUCKIN'!

RISA JEAN