Comparable To The Beach

How relationships can change just like the tide

Comparable To The Beach 

Hand in hand this journey began on the heated beach

seven years known a trail behind no destination to reach 

company of sweet innocence, hair the colour of the sun

This beach reflects her beauty, I know she is the one

A message written in sand words so strong but few 

making my heart race viewing simply “I love you”

darkness soon descended a black cloth covers the words

falling asleep engulfed in a love awoken by the birds

7 years like in those 7 hours the tide began to change

the walk on the beach a distant memory love now estrange 

No second chance this love was washed like scripture on the beach 

Faded memories of this once fine day I never hear you preach

  

This love you swept away like crashing waves to our sand

7 years like in 7 hours wiped away unplanned     

Author's Note

I wrote this after looking through photos of me and my ex and remembered this moment

Reviews

[GamingGal]

Pros: Mmmm.....comparing the changing of things to the change of the tide is clever, my friend. Good rhyme scheme that doesn't feel forced and helps the poem flow rather nicely. Like the flow of water :) I like the story told, of happiness fading like words written in sand. It changes in the middle to a darker, sadder tone, which, although sad, fits and is enjoyable.

Cons: A couple grammar problems here and there, but nothing really.

Overall: A good poem of happiness fading to be replaced by lost. Good comparison :)

[Margaret Marie Hubbard]

"washed like scripture on the beach"-Very good ! I like.

[Frankie Nguyen]

I love the emotion in this. I can really feel it.

wow, i could really feel the sadness. i loved the mood change and the flow of the peom over all. amazing.

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

beautiful and sad well done. Sometimes I wish I were stranded on an island so I could live on the beach I love swimming I would live in the water if I could lol

I do have one suggestion with the last two lines..... This love you swept away like crashing waves and cruel oceans roll to our sand its been 7 years like in 7 hours wiped away unplanned.

But its just a suggestion hope you don't mind let me know what you think either way.

[steph]

hmm. I like this poem, although honestly I can't tell you why, Its almost like one of those movies, where they have a flashback scene and you see the memory.. I felt almost as if I was actually watching this unfold before my very eyes... Very enjoyable

[Deactivated_BurningDemo..]

So beautiful, yet so sad.
I could feel the emotion behind the words.
A masterpiece.

[Dilan Gray]

This is so beautiful, again the images are made clear with your words! I love the comparison of a relationship changing like the tide, it is really amazing.

[Caitlynxoxo]

The comparision to the beach brought out the true emotion in this feeling. I could see every scene described, and it was all so beautiful and lovely. Thanks for sharing!

xoxo Caitlyn xoxo

[morningstar]

I absolutely love how you compared this to the beach. I would've never thought about this kind of comparison. I can imagine you guys walking on the beach and all the feelings you guys would have. And this poem is structured differently from your either poems. I noticed the rhymes more :) lovelyyy