Hold tight but not too tight

Hold tight but not too tight

A Poem by {A}shley {B}lack @-;-
"

A poem about management crisis

"
Hold It Tight But Not Too Tight
Continuing this long day of work Imperfections do arise
They think because I’m in charge I’m open to compromise 
“You were one of us” A factual excuse
But now the weight is on my shoulders 
Your review I must dispute
The manager walks in notices laziness in the ranks
expect my name to be called and not receiving thanks
“Ashley to the Managers office”
Fears ignited, anger rises at the service from my friends
I can’t even excuse their behaviour I hope they make amends
“Listen here black” the voice bellows from his chair
your idiotic , not suitable , I really do despair 
My anger rises and I see red I try to talk him down
“but sir they won’t listen I’m just a decorated clown”
he stands this rotund mass of  sweat upon me places a hand
“your not the man I thought you were 
YOUR FIRED UNDERSTAND!”
With those words I can’t contain the feelings deep inside
The managers final resting place is where we now reside 
reaching ,gripping the throat I squeeze until he’s blue
Not holding too tightly though his suffocated scream I pursue
“heeeeeellllp” there it is angelic sounds to my ears
Look into his piercing eyes my smile tempts his fears
My strangulation, suffocating , sufficing for his words 
Relinquishing my duties for the ignorance of the herds
Spluttering and gasping my vice like grip meets no end
Last memories, nail in the coffin, my incarceration soon to spend
But then the alarm goes off as I awaken from my slumber
How frequently I kill my boss my mind does often wonder 

© 2011 {A}shley {B}lack @-;-


Author's Note

{A}shley {B}lack @-;-
Please give honest reviews as always

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Featured Review

I like the subject matter of this poem. It made me smile (I'm sure there are many of us who have dreamed of killing a bad boss). I like the rhyming scheme you used. I enjoyed this poem

For Technicals:
I find the flow of it is a little disjointed, but I think that is only because it lacks punctuation. And I don't mean that you should put a comma after every line (which some people seem to think equals proper punctuation) but actual proper punctuation. If there would be a comma in that line in Prose there should still be one in poetry. You have it a bit at the end and thats it. Also you need to capitalize your name when you use it. The only other problem is you have a few small gramatical errors, but otherwise well done.

Posted 13 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This was awesome.....at times I was like "OMG" then even a giggle emerged for how many of us have ever wanted to strangle our bosses.....no need to agree but I know we are all out there! lol

Kudos, seriously....it kept me interested the whole time! :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


lmao. OMG!!!! i have felt this way about my boss too many times to count. at first i thought it was going to a be a dark murderous poem and then it hits you at the end that its just a dream and i loved it. it made me laugh seriously!!! im favoriting it

Posted 13 Years Ago


I work two jobs. And thankfully both of my bosses are pretty cool. In fact, my boss for the framing crew I work for is more of a buddy. We hang out at his house and stuff. So I think I'm pretty fortunate in that regard. But I have worked for a Chinese cyborg before. And yeah...I did want to do some stranglin'.

Posted 13 Years Ago


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I think it is disturbing in an interesting way, I believe many would relate to it even if they didn't express their feelings in a poem like you did, but these thoughts come to our minds all of us :D
Good job i like it.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I like the subject matter of this poem. It made me smile (I'm sure there are many of us who have dreamed of killing a bad boss). I like the rhyming scheme you used. I enjoyed this poem

For Technicals:
I find the flow of it is a little disjointed, but I think that is only because it lacks punctuation. And I don't mean that you should put a comma after every line (which some people seem to think equals proper punctuation) but actual proper punctuation. If there would be a comma in that line in Prose there should still be one in poetry. You have it a bit at the end and thats it. Also you need to capitalize your name when you use it. The only other problem is you have a few small gramatical errors, but otherwise well done.

Posted 13 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I agree with apathy's assement it is truly a bedtime story gone wrong, and A Vivid portrayal of life in the workplace

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 2 people found this review constructive.

lol Seriously running out of words to say for this other than: A bedtime story gone wrong. Excellent!!

Posted 13 Years Ago


lol Im still laughing what a good poem and an even better way of dealing with the stress you can kill them in your sleep

an awesome twist at the end I did not expect it than again I never know what to expect from you

My strangulation, suffocating , sufficing for his words
Relinquishing my duties for the ignorance of the herds

I like those lines a lot love the beat within them

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 5 people found this review constructive.

I like it! Very good!

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 3 people found this review constructive.

It's beautifully disturbing with a strange, yet dazzling, ideas hovering around your words.

Posted 13 Years Ago



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16 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on March 3, 2011
Last Updated on March 3, 2011

Author

{A}shley {B}lack @-;-
{A}shley {B}lack @-;-

Sheriffhales, Shropshire , United Kingdom



About
I Am Ashley Black (an alter ego ) I have a dark mind when it comes to my poetry as the strongest emotions come from negative RETURNING- I have been distant from this site for a while but I am fina.. more..

Writing