girl frozen death body at snow

girl frozen death body at snow

A Poem by WRITER-----------POET

Near to Detroit lakes





At snow at cold morning
They find her at summer erotic clothes
Frozen to her bones
Lady from Tokyo
On her frozen lips
Drops of her own tears
Beauty at north she came to die
No find to money no find less than love
From lonely soul
You can easy make prey
Like this guy from Frago
Fregile like fresh ice
Police car and take her to autopsy
From cold to cold

On steel table with holes for blood
Doctor at white coat with razor
Make frist great hole
To her perfect asian body
Find out why
Here is not asnwer for die
No sexual assault no harm inside of vagina or mouth
No stab to the heart
Or any other inner organs
Alcohol dose was low
Pills cannot kill her
Is was winter cold
Or just melting heart

Even now with open body
Looks like queen of heart sun
Why she came for who she have this done
At eyes is death and betrayl
At skin cold death
Last night she was on live
Ask where she can watch star
Last thing what want to see
Only love and death to free
At booze of lonely end
She cry and bleed
Why you dont love her
She was more great than death and love

I watch her on death snow
Smoke my dreams
I am on my knee
Prayer for her peaceful death
Black color what she wore
Cover her real soul
She was beauty and she was all
At fingers something cold
Last night call to her lover
He dont want her
All rich man are hard beasts
They gona get what they want
And now she is not living soul
She is death at Minnesota snow



© 2017 WRITER-----------POET



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Featured Review

Hi again. So this is the kind of poem that tells a story.

Pros found:
Focus of the "camera" and scene sequence. I like how you've sown intrigue. Death in the cold isn't something super rare but the girl's clothes did make me interested in the poem.
In particular, I like two words you used to describe her clothes: erotic and summer. Summer because it makes me wonder why she's dressed that way in winter. Erotic because it's part of your "misleads" or false foreshadowing.
That she simply died there in the cold communicates her sadness. It wasn't someone else that killed or abused her; she was simply there. The literal and figurative cold did it.

Cons found:
Mr. Grammar hehe. I really believe it will help you. It's your friend. If you need any help with it, you can ask me. I'll explain simply. Otherwise I'll continue keeping it from my comments.

Have a nice day, friend.

P.S. I approved it in our O.B.J.E.C.T.I.V.E...R.E.V.I.E.W.S group. You can find it there now~


Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

WRITER-----------POET

1 Month Ago

Cause there is exist urbanistic legend about that women. Some people think cause is was in Minesota .. read more
DiskartetHaraya

1 Month Ago

I see. That gives me goosebumps...
WRITER-----------POET

1 Month Ago

Ye me too.



Reviews

Haunting. It sticks in your head and is well written. There are a couple typos and such, but this can be easily fixed. Over all, well done!

Posted 1 Month Ago


WRITER-----------POET

1 Month Ago

Thank you very much sometimes reality can be more scary then movie -horror. Yes my English is not re.. read more
Hi again. So this is the kind of poem that tells a story.

Pros found:
Focus of the "camera" and scene sequence. I like how you've sown intrigue. Death in the cold isn't something super rare but the girl's clothes did make me interested in the poem.
In particular, I like two words you used to describe her clothes: erotic and summer. Summer because it makes me wonder why she's dressed that way in winter. Erotic because it's part of your "misleads" or false foreshadowing.
That she simply died there in the cold communicates her sadness. It wasn't someone else that killed or abused her; she was simply there. The literal and figurative cold did it.

Cons found:
Mr. Grammar hehe. I really believe it will help you. It's your friend. If you need any help with it, you can ask me. I'll explain simply. Otherwise I'll continue keeping it from my comments.

Have a nice day, friend.

P.S. I approved it in our O.B.J.E.C.T.I.V.E...R.E.V.I.E.W.S group. You can find it there now~


Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

WRITER-----------POET

1 Month Ago

Cause there is exist urbanistic legend about that women. Some people think cause is was in Minesota .. read more
DiskartetHaraya

1 Month Ago

I see. That gives me goosebumps...
WRITER-----------POET

1 Month Ago

Ye me too.
Wow...I got a little spooked reading this story. The description of her death made me think of heartbreak and the cruelty of men. Making her heart give out in lack of love and disappointment. That's how I thought of it at least. This is a really good poem. Spooky, meaningful, poetic, descriptive, and clever in every way. Good job.

Posted 1 Year Ago


WRITER-----------POET

1 Year Ago

I am sorry I spooke you. True story are not ussualy happy ones. Thank you you like it.

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Added on January 4, 2016
Last Updated on October 22, 2017