Magical Rhythm

I wrote this for a creative writing project. I wouldn't say that it's great, but it's the best one of the set and I feel like I should upload something.

Magical rhythm, glorious beat.

Urging the steps through your body and feet.

 

Pulsating measures, beautiful lines.

Raising dead souls into something divine.

 

Slithering, moving, stirring in time.

Washing away the emotional grime.

 

Twisting, and turning, leaping from sheets.

Warming the lonely with comfortable heat.

 

Roaring and thrashing, fierce like a beast.

Giving your eardrums an audible feast.

 

Strumming and pounding, singing along.

Breathing and drinking the tune of the song.

 

Author's Note

Be as critical as you want, don't bother sugar coating anything. >_>; I know it's not great, I'd like some constructive criticism as opposed to false praise. >_>;

Reviews

[Orr]

I like this. It could be about anything.

First impressions it sounds like someone who's dragged themselves through a series of one night stands and feels rejected and then finds a really caring and attentive lover who reawakens them from a decomposing lifestyle. Then it's like having writer's block for months on end and then a huge tidal wave inspiration, all covered in ink..

Or, being starving and then being let loose in a banquet hall. Which, is on fire...

Yeah. I like it.

And I don't know when to shut up. XD

[unspokenguilt]

first of all i would never sugar coat anything if i hate it you won't get a review...fair enough?
But this, this was good even GREAT! so there i said it.

X_x honestly elyssa

[7eleven]

I changed lines 4 and 8, I didn't realize I had used the word "providing" in two spots...and I didn't really like it in either one. >_>;

[Jack E.]

Don't be so critical of yourself. This is a great piece of writing. The flow gets lost somewhere near the beginning, but it picks up again quickly and the imagery is fantastic. Maybe considering adding a little more on to the end sometime in the future, though.