Broken

just made this for a girl i liked once

Why cant i sleep at night?

It causes one big fright

I just wanna close my eyes and die.

I'm here without you so i might just try.

So why not just lie and forget about you.

You broke my heart in too.

Reviews

[Marie]

So...I'm dealing...

[Anonymous Me]

well that was depressing.

[Bean The Great]

Very good for a guy!!

[StoryTailor]

I enjoy this-- it's simple, yes, but I think that's part of the style. It's part of it's flair, if you get my gist.
The only nitpicky things I have would be that you might want to go back and capitalize your "I"'s (unless that's to make a point) and then I think the last word was meant to be "two" and not "too" (but then again, maybe I'm wrong)

All in all, a smashing job my friend! I did like the poem, marvelous little tidbit about "broken" love. (get the pun? lol)

[Luciole]

Actually, I can really relate to this; it isn't bad at all. :)

[Beautiful-Love]

i dont think its badish, i actually think its pretty good