Suicide of a Teenage Tragedy

Something I imagined. Something that could happen. Needs work.

 She called me up

One fateful day

She had something 

Quick to say

 

"Life is too hard,"

Is all she said

I should have listened

For now she's dead

 

When she hung up 

I didn't think

That her heart 

Had begun to sink

 

All her pain

Was all she could feel

For months she planned

How to die for real

 

She wrote a note

Of past regrets

How bad she felt

Was so intense

 

Molested by someone, 

Raped and beaten

None of her friends

Had known of her demons

 

Her heart had bled

Deep down inside

"Now I'll bleed for real,"

She said with a sigh

No one was home 

When she did the deed

There, with a razor, She made her wrists bleed

 

In a pool of blood

Was where she was found

And now she's buried 

Six feet underground

 

Her terrible life 

Led to her demise

Nobody had known

She'd been dying inside

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

It could happen, and it does happen on a daily basis around the globe. A tragedy that goes unchecked by mankinds inablilities to look past themselves and into the shoes of others.
You imagery was simple, yet strong, carrying the message clearly.

There were a few places that I think the lines could be smoothed out a little, (word choice and such)

Over all it was a very emotional and wonderfully crafted piece; As it reached out and touched the souls of those who leave this world; feeling as if they were all alone in their pain.

Great Write!
Infinity's Shadow

[Robert Luna]

Wow this is the second piece I have read tonight about rape and the third about suicide. Did I not get a memo that this was the topic of writing tonight. LOL Sorry just trying to light the mood just a little.

This was an interesting piece as it told a story and flowed perfectly. I always love to see a piece do that. Carry itself with it's own flow and energy. The story itself is such a sad tale and I felt the raw emotions that it was written and expressed with. I have been on the receiving end of several of those calls. It always sicken me to feel that feeling that sweeps over you to the point you become almost numb to everything around you and drained beyond your understanding.

This was well done and wonderfully sad read.

Great Job!!!!