THE FLOOD INSIDE MY HEART

THE FLOOD INSIDE MY HEART

A Poem by ASHIDASH
"

IT'S WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE ANGER

"
There's a flood rising in my heart'
taking over my feelings
washing away my kindness
my emotions drowning in the flood
and so will my love
It will drown my life long song
and will kill my patience
Mud water will get mixed with my blood,
small grains of sand will block my veins...
Then I will no more hold my patience
and at that point I turn into a beast
This is what I am, when  I am angry,
this is what you are, when you are angry
Your humanity gets washed away,
hatred and anger takes over your empty heart


© 2014 ASHIDASH



Author's Note

ASHIDASH
Please let me know your comments. I want to improve.

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Reviews

Very nicely done! :) It's probably very accurate for some people!

Posted 3 Years Ago


A few comma splices and maybe a few words you could edit out to improve the word flow, but I really like the ideas in this one. It is quite powerful. The imagery is strong, and the emotions are spot on. Well done :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

lady sunshine

3 Years Ago

this is reality which you are talking about...but i agree with harmartia... try some new words and i.. read more
Realism stark and frank. Youth gazes into the night side of life.

Posted 3 Years Ago


I like it. The theme is good. It has strong imagery

Posted 3 Years Ago


ASHIDASH

3 Years Ago

thank you
This is really good BUT BUT BUT PLEASE use a capital 'I' and not i.
You have a talent.

Posted 3 Years Ago


ASHIDASH

3 Years Ago

Thank you so much. next time I'll keep away from spelling errors. Again, thank you
ASHIDASH

3 Years Ago

I'll make them up now
Very nicely done :)
The only comment I have is to maybe check your grammar, but other than that- well done :)
It was a well written poem

Posted 3 Years Ago


ASHIDASH

3 Years Ago

Thankyou. April helped alot in that.
Chloe_Spence

3 Years Ago

You are welcome :)
ASHIDASH

3 Years Ago

Hope you'll keep on pointing out my mistakes, so i can correct them. Thank you
you described the rush, the "flood" of emotions that crashes in waves inside your heart when you become angry. Those powerful feelings can "wash away humanity" in some cases. Overall this is very nice. It is creative, vivid, and moving.

Posted 3 Years Ago


ASHIDASH

3 Years Ago

Thanks alot. I appreciate your encouraging words

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Added on June 30, 2014
Last Updated on June 30, 2014

Author

ASHIDASH
ASHIDASH

colombo, Sri Lanka



About
About me.... I'm still 17. i love to write.. i thought of joining this website because i want to know how I am. I'm working on a poetry book and hope to publish it in here but before that i thought o.. more..

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