To those who disappoint....

A poem about the emotions one experiences when alone

To those who disappoint....

It crushes, smothering and tormenting my being

An internal tightness that has no end, no respite

I see no light, no end to it all

The darkness is simply all encompassing

No flame can flicker

The air lightly kisses my lips,

Each breath is taken under duress

The anguish grips, ripping and tearing

It is a secret assassin, slowly destroying under the cover of darkness

For outwardly all is fine

 

Surrounded by friends, the ones you care most for

Yet it grips and loneliness takes hold

No matter how big the ocean may be

You are alone at sea, drifting, waiting

Waiting to fall below

To drift off peacefully into the abyss

But no respite comes

There is still no end to any of it

Creases appear and skin sloughs

 The darkness slowly begins to escape

A select few notice

Most are oblivious to the pain

To the darkness that envelopes you

Every day you die a little inside

Scars develop

Your soul feels as if it is beyond repair

 

The sky is blanketed by stars

Each one unique and special

But in reality some are more special than others

Some shine more brightly, demanding more attention

Those that are dimmer go unnoticed

Invisible.......

 

There is no solution

No quick fix or salve to cure the hurt

The crushing simply continues, intensifying

You become smaller

Meaker even

And infinitely more angry

 

I might be in the same room

But yet there is no action

Cried wolf one too many times

In the end everyone is alone in this world

Everyone must fight their own battles

Win their own victories....

There is however only one solution

Reviews

[Belle]

You've created a very realistic sense of isolation in this poem. Each verse is perfect for the theme, but the second stanza "Surrounded by friends" struck me the most; it's a sad thing when the people who should know you best can't recognise deep sorrow. I prefer relatable poetry a lot of the time and you captured in this an emotion that many people feel. Your final stanza was also especially poignant. This is a really emotive piece!

[Oddesy]

Thank you so much for your kind words! It is a bitter-sweet feeling that you can relate. I do not wish those feelings of isolation on anyone but It is somewhat comforting to know others have felt the same.

[olla]

I would venture a guess that everyone has felt this at some point in their life.. you have described the feeling of isolation.. "alone in a crowd.." quiet well..

[Jennie Baron]

Beautiful! I definitely relate to this one. It's deals with the same subject matter as one of mine called "Loneliness," but this is worded so much better!

[Bee C.]

"Some shine more brightly, demanding more attention
Those that are dimmer go unnoticed"

That line really got to me. This entire poem, really, it speaks volumes. It pains me to say that I identified very closely with the message here. But anyway, this is excellently written. It's incredibly blunt and honest, and I love the language and imagery you used. And if this is only your first piece you posted... Well. Judging by this you have a fine way with words.

And that last line... Wow. I got chills. There are mixed emotions there. The "solution" could suggest a ray of hope, or equally could bring a very real fear, depending on the reader. Very well penned!

[Oddesy]

Your review is very much appreciated, thank you! When I write I like to put as much emotion into it as possible as it serves as a form of outlet for me.