Moment's Pain..!

In love we walk with both Pain and Smile; so this is the piece of my soul which I decidate to my Love..! #tweety

When I look at you;If I see the pain of your eyes, it abandons me.

 

Desires to fill the voids in your sight;

Which I sowed.

 

Wishes to absorb the moist of your eyes;

Which I flowed.

 

Aspires to flick the silent agony of you;

Which I created.

 

Hopes to flow  the stream of love and happiness in you;

Which I never did. 

 

Urges to make your lips move to smile;

Which I shivered.

 

Waits for the day, When i see the smile of my love in your eyes;

Which I will design.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Perdition]

You have talent here as a writer. There is no question but in a few words you have given your poetry here, too much of yourself. You have built and destroyed this woman..YOU have done this. Maybe... but the true poetry is in knowing the strength within her, only then can you know her true want for a champion and then so write of it. Breathe her and allow that wonderful gift in poetry and life to build and destroy you..accept love unconditional and without ego and then you will know the hand of talent that wrecks your persona but builds you as a poet and a human. I enjoyed this read, even if the rhymes, which I have never been a fan of, disrupted my flow . It still showed the intellect and desire for poetry..so as always there is great hope. Especially in this poetry. Welcome to the cafe…pour a cup…sit and enjoy and never let anything or anyone negotiate you from the aspects of being real. Thanks for the read I thoroughly enjoyed it~

[Aaqib Javaid]

Thank you so much for taking time for review and suggestion.. really it is an only constructive review I had ever recieve... means a lot... thanks once again

[Perdition]

A pleasure…I remember writing for years with only compliments and I knew somewhere there had to be a truth that was slipping past me so I read and read and read until I began to hear the music of the poetry and then I kept reading until I began to sense the pain and then I started living the process and it only then occurred to me then that poetry finds you. It is not an easy walk and it really should not be put lightly but when your pain is mostly in the idea of not writing then you have started to at least become visible to poetry.. You have a definite skill that needs nourishment and for that I can not help because poetry does not spring alone from the past…you must make your own new voice. Honesty has a great deal to do with it. Sorry I could not help more but I wish you great pages and hope you find a way. We need true poets to speak the invisible languages that change us all for the better. Namaste~

[Aaqib Javaid]

All lines of yours are true. When we are in pain, its hard to write and really I don't write but just became the medium between pen and paper.. silence is the thing which works most of the times ; because for me silence is the meduim which helps me to pour me into my soul and I came to know more and more about it.. thats why honesty is maintained.. soul never lie. ..

[Winslow Des Totes]

This is a very well written and powerful peace. I especially love the way you used the simplest diction to evoke powerful emotions and reactions. Very well written.

[Aaqib Javaid]

Thanks for your appreciation and kind words...! :)

[FREE_BIRD]

lovely...you can see..what you want.
if you keep thinking it you always be in dark.
so best of luck for...quite happy moment

[Aaqib Javaid]

Thanks for your words dear...! Will keep your point in view..!!