Rukhsat

I thought you would be the one to caught me when I fall... instead you're just another one pushing me over

Ahtiyat ab kya barte ke jaane bhi do ab,

Caarvaan chchordne ka lamha aa gaya..

 

 

Rukhsat aakhri bhi wo dene na aaye,

kaisa chahat ka ye falsafa aa gaya..

 

 

Shikwaa is baat ab zara bhi nahi,

Waqt guzra jo saath unke accha gaya..

 

 

Nashe se nahi par zaher se to hoga,

Haathon se jaam mere chalak sa gaya..

 

 

Saaye ne bhi to sang chalna chchoda hamare,

Jaise Naakami ka kaafila aa gaya..

 

 

Chand saansein bhi bojhal si lagne lagi,

Khud ki halat pe hamko rahem aa gaya..

 

 

Maayusi ki shehnaayi kyun baj gayi jab,

Unki galiyon se mera janaaja gaya !!

Author's Note

Here i am adding the english version of this poem just for the convenience of my readers

Translation :-
Now, it's no use taking precautions,
it's time to leave.

she didn't even come to say me a last goodbye,
see what is the outcome of my affection.

but no complaints from my side for that,
whatever time we had spent together was awesome.

better poison will make it easier, if alcohol cannot work,
see how wine spread from the brink of my glass.

even my own shadow has left me,
it's like the congregation of failure has arrived in my life.

life looks burdensome,
i am feeling pity for myself.

why someone had heard the funeral song,
when my final journey had gone through just beside her colony.

Reviews

[Ankita Dwivedi]

The hindi version brings the real feel of the poem with the tinge of some urdu words .i loved it , abhishek.
The departure hurts, but the sweet memories still, fill heart with nostalgia and longing .But we don't choose who we fall for .kuch log is qadar zindagi ka hissa ban jaate hai ,ki unke jaane par lagta hai ki zindagi hi nhi aap bhi khaali ho gye hai ..life goes on , and so it should ..Glad to finally find some hindi work here ..
-Ankita:)

[Abhishek Asthana]

Agreed with your views and thought process. I have written quite a few poems in hindi while i have plenty of ones but i do not share it here as only few readers are here who are having Hindi as their native language. Thanks for understanding the aura of the poem. I am glad you liked it. 

[Ankita Dwivedi]

i also, write a lot of hindi poems but i don't post here because the rhythm of the poem i feel is lost when u translate hindi into english or vice-versa.yeah , i really did like the work.:))

[Anjali]

Love fails, life fails, we fail but all these are just the stepping stones towards something better. Your writing is so pure, relatable, easy on eyes.

Keep writing and hope for the best.

[Abhishek Asthana]

Something which is above the victory and beyond the failure is sensibility of people and you are one of those sensible person. Thanks for a read.

[Pragati Chaudhary]

So beautiful. btw kis baat ka itna dukh hai apko?

[Abhishek Asthana]

This is based on imagination... a little bit of inspiration... sab kuch aap-beeti hi nhi hoti ... kuch is sansaar ki reeti hoti hai !!

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for the English translation Abhishek. There is pain in the loss of a relationship. That is easily understood here. 'even my own shadow has left me' that line speaks to me of great hurt. The fact that she didn't visit you to say goodbye face to face, I have to say was disrespectful on her part. I wonder, surely not a letter? I heard the funeral dirge being played, adding to the overall ambience of this piece. Love hurts, yes it does when it fails it causes heartbreak.

Chris

[Ruth]

Love and hurt/hurt and love, both feed each other in some situations, I could feel the intense edge of both within this piece Abhishek, an emotional journey :)

[Abhishek Asthana]

Thanks for your visit and review and also for catching the soul of the poem !

[Anushka joshi]

Very beautifully written !!
I wish eveyone could read its hindi version .... It has more feel ...
I enjoyed and felt it

[Abhishek Asthana]

A poem written with a metered rhyme seems to have more impact in the writing aspect.
Thanks for a read !

[Sami Khalil]

Beautiful poem with lots of love hurt dimensions. Thank you for providing the translation although it might not be as powerful as the original language. You are waxing poetic sir....

[Abhishek Asthana]

You understand Hindi/Urdu... What i believe a pure Hindi/Urdu poem can not be expected to cast the same irresistible influence on the reader through English interpretation... Thanks a lot for a visit!!

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. You are welcome. Only Arabic and English but open minded to learn other languages.

[Sudeep Mishra]

Both the versions are awesome.
Keep Writing and sharing.

[Tanya Ramsail]

bahut khoobsoorat hai

[Swetha]

Tragic and emotional but a good one..