Rukhsat

I thought you would be the one to caught me when I fall... instead you're just another one pushing me over

Ahtiyat ab kya barte ke jaane bhi do ab,

Caarvaan chchordne ka lamha aa gaya..

 

 

Rukhsat aakhri bhi wo dene na aaye,

kaisa chahat ka ye falsafa aa gaya..

 

 

Shikwaa is baat ab zara bhi nahi,

Waqt guzra jo saath unke accha gaya..

 

 

Nashe se nahi par zaher se to hoga,

Haathon se jaam mere chalak sa gaya..

 

 

Saaye ne bhi to sang chalna chchoda hamare,

Jaise Naakami ka kaafila aa gaya..

 

 

Chand saansein bhi bojhal si lagne lagi,

Khud ki halat pe hamko rahem aa gaya..

 

 

Maayusi ki shehnaayi kyun baj gayi jab,

Unki galiyon se mera janaaja gaya !!

Author's Note

Here i am adding the english version of this poem just for the convenience of my readers

Translation :-
Now, it's no use taking precautions,
it's time to leave.

she didn't even come to say me a last goodbye,
see what is the outcome of my affection.

but no complaints from my side for that,
whatever time we had spent together was awesome.

better poison will make it easier, if alcohol cannot work,
see how wine spread from the brink of my glass.

even my own shadow has left me,
it's like the congregation of failure has arrived in my life.

life looks burdensome,
i am feeling pity for myself.

why someone had heard the funeral song,
when my final journey had gone through just beside her colony.

Reviews

[Ankita Dwivedi]

The hindi version brings the real feel of the poem with the tinge of some urdu words .i loved it , abhishek.
The departure hurts, but the sweet memories still, fill heart with nostalgia and longing .But we don't choose who we fall for .kuch log is qadar zindagi ka hissa ban jaate hai ,ki unke jaane par lagta hai ki zindagi hi nhi aap bhi khaali ho gye hai ..life goes on , and so it should ..Glad to finally find some hindi work here ..
-Ankita:)

[Abhishek Asthana]

Agreed with your views and thought process. I have written quite a few poems in hindi while i have plenty of ones but i do not share it here as only few readers are here who are having Hindi as their native language. Thanks for understanding the aura of the poem. I am glad you liked it. 

[Ankita Dwivedi]

i also, write a lot of hindi poems but i don't post here because the rhythm of the poem i feel is lost when u translate hindi into english or vice-versa.yeah , i really did like the work.:))

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

A broken heat is a wound that seldom, if ever, heals ...

[Abhishek Asthana]

Very truly said sir... thanks for reading and reviewing... your words means a lot to me...

[APOORVA]

What an amazing piece!!
behtareen

[Abhishek Asthana]

boht boht shukria apoorva ji :)

[APOORVA]

you are welcome sir :)

[Joey Nizz]

Your words have left a memory inside of me, a memory of the character in the poem, well done you did a great job writing this, your words made me see whats happening in the poem.

Thanks for sharing.

[Abhishek Asthana]

thank you so much for your words joey... i am glad you liked it:)

[Joey Nizz]

Your very much welcome :)

[Ayush Mishra]

nice explanation....hrr sabd me jaan daal di..
good job brother :)

[Abhishek Asthana]

thank you so much buddy... really good to know that you have liked it :)

[Mr.Writer]

wow, all the words and phrases you used were really effective in this poem!
"better poison will make it easier, if alcohol cannot work,
see how wine spread from the brink of my glass."
This line can make us feel the anger and sadness of the person...
Well done Abhishek!

[Abhishek Asthana]

thanks so much shaan... you have understood the aura of the poem :)

[Mr.Writer]

No problem :)

[Wajiha Nayeem]

am speechless....am spellbound...am shocked...such an addictive work this is....and every line is done so very well....bahot hi khoobsurat likha hai...wonderful.

[Abhishek Asthana]

oh! thanks a lot for your words... i am glad you liked it

[wordman]

didn`t have to read it to understand the meaning of the poem,great job

[Abhishek Asthana]

thank you so much... the word you said itself is a big compliment... :)

[Zoya]

I can't say that I got each and every line written here, but, of what I could grasp...this is simply wonderful. Especially the last two stanzas, I understood them really well, beautifully written. Very well done!

[Abhishek Asthana]

though you don't like much reading hindi poems then too you managed to read this and found this one good... its a huge compliment for me... thanks so much zoe for reading it :)

[Zoya]

Haha, yeah, it's difficult to understand​ such complex hindi/ Urdu...but you write it with ease. Well done again. And you're most welcome.

[L.C. Jarrette]

"better poison will make it easier, if alcohol cannot work"

It’s so painful to know that the one you love cannot love you in return. i really admire poems about love and hurt, because of how the writer is able to reach out to people by expressing what he feels through his writing. i've read this one poem. the title was "When you break a writer's heart" - it's all about someone who was in pain. and she used that pain to turn it into art, into something very beautiful - a poem. and that poem for me was a masterpiece. i was crying the whole time. same with your poems. i also read the poor crow and now this. looking forward to read more of your work Abhishek.

L.C.Jarrette

[Abhishek Asthana]

that's really a piece of honor for me if you found few of my poems so intense as that masterpiece...i also love to write about love and hurt... might be i was little bit more expressive in few of my last poems... i'll keep doing that... thanks a ton :)

[L.C. Jarrette]

no, you weren't a "little bit" expressive. sometimes, i begin to wonder... are you okay?
well, you don't have to answer that. and it's always a pleasure reading your poems.

[Najam Us Saher]

You leave me speechless here.....I really have no words to say how amazing this is...

[Abhishek Asthana]

thanks a lot... this review was important as i know you would understand the depth of it...i am glad you liked it

[Najam Us Saher]

No need to mention thanks :) It was my pleasure reading this...