Uncle Bun

Uncle Bun

A Poem by Abraham George
"

Written for a time-pass...........

"

I have a friend, His name is Uncle Bun

He loves The Big Mac hamburger and Bun

He was from Never-land, place of Peter Pan

He always travel in his own Van 

 


His favorite restaurant is McDonald’s

While his best character was Duck Donald,

Because he love President Donald.

His favorite actor is Sutherland Donald

 

I love my friend from Never-Land

Linkin park is my favorite band

I don’t like to demand

I heard Lost boys story firsthand.


© 2017 Abraham George



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I think the lines above would sound great as a song. Nice use of words; simple and short. I wasn't able to see what you were trying to convey :(
Keep it up xx

Posted 1 Month Ago


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SSR
Nice flow of words...............
Perfect rhyme...........



Posted 1 Month Ago


This is an interesting flow of ideas that are loosely connected by the related words thru-out. I like the loosely structured names & rhymes, but I have to tell ya, I don't like anyone who likes Trump, so that's not such a good line. Maybe something a little less simple-minded, such as: "he's baffled by President Trump" which would be a nice way to say the truth of our situation here. Very few people love this very bad president. So think about this line, OK? Thanks!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Abraham George

2 Months Ago

i think you didn't understand the meaning.

While his best character was Duck Donald,.. read more
Abraham George

2 Months Ago

nothing more there.
WHAT AM I?: Nephilim WHAT AM I?: Nephilim
A teen boy gets killed, but trades his soul for another chance. He changes. A girl notices the new boy with silver eyes.
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Gee
Rhyming for rhyming sake often leaves me non the wiser after reading. I have seen awesome and brilliant written in other reviews, perhaps I am missing something

Posted 2 Months Ago


rhyming words are brilliant, and very finely written.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Abraham George

2 Months Ago

thanks for the visit and comments
Priyanshi

2 Months Ago

my pleasure.
Firstly, I loved loved and loved the creativity used in here! It's just so beautiful, and secondly, the rhyming scheme is perfect! I loved it a lot!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Abraham George

2 Months Ago

thank you.
Anjali

2 Months Ago

You are welcome!
This is awesome, well done

Posted 2 Months Ago


Abraham George

2 Months Ago

thanks for your visit and comments.
Fantastic rhymes in each line, bro this was an amazing read! Thank you ^^

Posted 2 Months Ago


Abraham George

2 Months Ago

thank you my friend.
Joey Nizz

2 Months Ago

You welcome :)
First stanza, last line - "travel" should be 'traveled'

Does this mean anything or are you just rhyming?

It's an enjoyable read regardless.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Abraham George

2 Months Ago

i wrote it for a contest only.
Dead Alive Dave

2 Months Ago

Um, okay... I'll ask again... is it just rhyming or is there more to it?
Abraham George

2 Months Ago

rhyming only. nothing else
pretty creative write,love the word play

Posted 2 Months Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Abraham George

2 Months Ago

thanks and i am glad to know that you liked it.

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Added on July 25, 2017
Last Updated on July 26, 2017

Author

Abraham George
Abraham George

Thrissur, Kerala, India



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