Sonnet XII - A brood at night sky

Sonnet XII - A brood at night sky

A Poem by Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-
"

Inspired by the beautiful night sky

"

Have you ever brooded at orphic night?

Into its indigo rug of black magic,

And the sparkling gems of divine light,

Engrafted in its fleecy ace fabric.

 

I alight lone under their silent spark,

Cast my sight throughout the secretive sky.

From my inferno of blood, haze and dark,

I spread my wings, out of Hades, I fly!

 

Are they memories? Ancient lores of yore,

Or guiding souls of those whom passed away,

Maybe the eyes of death, bright and galore,

Watching plain at night secretly at day.

 

Or a reflection of hopes to aspire,

To sustain an aeonian will of  fire.


© 2013 Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-



Author's Note

Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-
This is version '1' still casting around for feedback... Please say what you think
I am not liking this piece that much
Be picky and mean!

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Reviews

Wow! How can you say you don't like this much? This is the first I've read from you, but it's beautiful. I love the word choice. Very different!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-

4 Years Ago

Thank you very much!
very flattered... well, its not my best lol
September Solis

4 Years Ago

Regardless, great work! :) I sure hope you are published already, because you deserve to be with suc.. read more
Into its indigo rug of black magic, - buddy, buddy, wow!!!! .. this is one of the most creative lines i've read. beautiful piece capturing the marvelous night sky

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-

4 Years Ago

Thank you again, Keegan
Always looking forward to hear your opinion
the third line in the third stanza....bright and galore? it just sounds awkward and contrived to my ear. The rest of it I liked, but that line glares at me. It feels forced in its rhyme.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-

4 Years Ago

Galore means abundant or In great numbers, and bright is a feature of a star, it sounds normal to me.. read more
LA Lorena

4 Years Ago

I know what galore means! LOL! It just does not sound right to me to say that the eyes of death are.. read more
Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-

4 Years Ago

I understand! But don't you think sometimes that should have so much eyes in order to see us all LOL.. read more
but i like it. It was enjoyable to read.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-

4 Years Ago

thank you :)

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4 Reviews
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Added on January 31, 2013
Last Updated on February 1, 2013
Tags: night, sky, stars, orphic, rug, spark, gothic, hades, yore, aspire, adam

Author

Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-
Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-

Amman, Middle East, Jordan



About
"A poet from the dark realm, from the world of Gothic hymns" Please visit my website http://adamnlebzo.wix.com/ronnin-warrior Name: Adam lebzo Age: 21 Hobbies: 1 Ninjutsu, Kung fu shaolin, Ji.. more..

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