Another nightmare

Cara's web covers Phill's mind.

Phill turns in his sleep.

 

This time Cara had brought him in a park. As usual nobody was around, and the sound of his steps seemed to amplify his stress more than his minds suggestions about what was going to happen next.

 

Phill first taught it was just a bad dream floating up form his subconscious… than he noticed that the dreams weren’t really ,,his,, , someone else was controlling them.

 

Scared that something was going to attack him if he stopped, Phill kept on walking conscious of the fact that one the green land came to an end, than something horrible was going to happen.

 

While the street lights seemed to get weaker, Phill herd the voice of a woman singing to :

 

,,    Love is a gift you made me, my sweet

      One thing to keep hanging on

      Our love will make it trough the fog  … ,,

 

She did this before.

 

I didn’t do anything to you, you bloody ho …

 

All of a sudden he stops. His feet are stuck to the ground like metal to a magnet. He can’t move an inch.

 

Obscene expressions cloud Phill’s mind in his useless struggle to pull away from her trap.  

 

,, The pleasure of love embraces my hart …,,

 

Her voice is getting louder , as Phill knows she approaches him slowly.

 

Come and get me you sick b***h, you know I’m not going to give you what you want!!!

 

Phill detected a slight change of her voice. He wasn’t able to retrieve her, what she wanted, but he sometimes had the urge to make her think he had it, to compensate for all the horrors she made him pass trough. 

 

The voice got louder and Phill gathered his entire straight to endure what was to come. Than he could feel her presence, cold as death, next to him. The sound of the romantic song, filled his ears than became more silent.

 

Phill opens his eyes… the park was empty. He doesn’t think that maybe she decided to spare him ; knowing Cara , he knew she had something even more ,, spectacular ,, in mind.

 

Her silhouette moved briefly near some of the trees. Fear penetrated Phill’s mind.

 

He knew she liked to torture him bought physically and mentally.

 

A huge plant raises from the ground and her dark tentacles wrap on Phill’s feet, in a bizarre shape of a caufin.

 

No.

 

In situations like these Phill was usually able to wake up, but this wasn’t a dream anymore…

 

The tentacles pull him slowly under the ground.

 

Help! Help me !!! …

  

As the dark plant reaches his trout, he can see Cara’s face in front of him – with her mysterious black eyes fixed on him. Phill’s guess was that she was sitting there for more than awhile ,but she decided to make her presence known in the moment before he was going to be completely covered.

 

Struggling to breathe, Phill is being pulled under the ground.

 

He can’t move. Death is near…

 

Huh …

 

He is sitting at a table in a weakly luminated chamber…

 

,, How’ve you been Phill ? ,,

 

Cara’s tall , well structured body appears from the shadows. Her expression was not of an mad woman, but more of a sincere, warm friend… Phill thinks that he is mad.

 

,, Owgh ! Come on, it wasn’t all that bad , I pulled you out before you even felt it inside .,,

 

Let me go Cara.

 

,, That’s up to you Phill, I’ll let you go if you stop stepping on it …,,

 

Stepping on what, you crazy s**t …

 

Phill starts to weep…

    

  

 

Reviews

[Dianne]

This is a great start to a fascinating story. Your story needs some heavy editing because English is not your primary language. I would recommend getting someone willing to help you edit before posting. It is much easier to edit in a Word document format than it is here on the web site and then you could up load the edited version. Writing stories in a foreign language is a major accomplishment. You should be proud of your self for taking on such a big task! I'm impressed!

[Vanessa Whiteley]

This is a very imaginative piece but I notice that English isn't your first language which explains why there are a few grammar and spelling errors in this piece. I hope you don't mind my pointing them out to you.


� Do you mean Phill or Phil the latter would be more usual?
� the tenses seem a little confused moving from the present to the past.


Phill turns (present)

Brought, seemed (past)

� Phill first taught � I think you mean thought
The first is to teach someone something � like a new language the other is to think have ideas about.

� Phill herd the voice � I think you mean heard
The first denotes a group of animals the second to hear a noise

� Our love will make it trough the fog � ,,
I think you mean through

in a bizarre shape of a caufin - I think you mean coffin.

With these few corrections the story will be easier to read.