Wish

About giving your hart away.

You

 

 

touched the edge of my hart

making it bleed and beat faster.

 

 

I don’t want to know in how many ways you can brake it …

 

 

I don’t want to be a slave to my emotions.

 

 

I want to stay next to you when you sleep   

I want to feel your soul close to mine

 

and know every detail of your dreams and thoughts

learning to see you as you are

 

I want to be yours.

 

Reviews

[Kara Emily Krantz]

normally I just wouldn't say anything because of the typos - but i actually think this is a good piece, so i'll just let you know where they are :)


"hart" = heart

"brake" - break



those were the only real typos. i liked the sentiment within this piece, so much, and the way you spaced it, and the lines themselves - they way they're presented.

[OceanTropic]

"I don't want to be a slave to my emotions."

Brilliant line.

[poet2angels (lynda)]

Lovely poem with much emotion
TY for entering!

Lynda

[Lily1111]

There is a balance between the longing for love and exposing one's vulnerability here that is very well expressed. I am sure this resonates with many.

[C. C. Burl]

Let me tell you, this in its simplicity and honesty really made me yearn for what you've said. This is my most favorite line:

I don't want to know in how many ways you can break [my heart] �

Wow, so much written in that line. Simply fantastic, I am amazed that you have conveyed so much emotion in such few words. Thank you so very much for sharing. Flora.

[Emily Rose]

This is good - the spacing is a nice touch, implying space within your heart. It's a pretty piece and it can be interpreted in a bunch of different ways, which is always good with poetry.

I agree with Kara Emily Krantz, however: you really need to fix the spelling changes, otherwise the poem is confusing and the message becomes all garbled. A little more punctuation would be helpful, too.

[[untitled]]

A true poem of confession about someone you love. Nice write.

[Ms Jessica Renee]

Even with a few flaws, I loved the words.
You can feel the desire for the wish.
Continue with the work, it certainly can touch the heart.

[An owl on the moon]

Such a beautiful expession, full of love and emotion... Love the expression and the movement of each line and phrase... Wonderful!

[Barries Girl]

Its an all comsuming emotion, and one we all feel at some time or another

[Kitty]

This is beautiful. So emotional... I have this feeling for a guy I love now. This is a GREAT poem!!!!!!!

Josie