The guitar groan

Here�s to Lake of tears- Spining around

I am static,

while the demon leaves his dark unknown.

 

Vibrations of the strings.

 

Vibrations of the strings.   

 

I whisper pleasure through pain…

Know that I won’t harm you.

 

Black monsters pass trough me

 

gentle

 

as death,

 

and  sweet

 

as the poison

that created this addiction.

 

Enchaining                me                with             ….

 

A pleasure close to madness.

 

You’re not afraid,

 

YOU ARE

 

MINE now…

 

I

 

LOVE YOU NOW!!!

 

drifting away

 

I am one with the sound…

 

 

Reviews

[Annalisa]

I love your choice of words and the image that they paint, I especially love the line "A pleasure close to madness." but i felt like the flow or rhythm of the poem was missing. It was a choppy read, so much so that it took away from the words while I tried to figure out how it was supposed to read so that it made sense... I enjoyed this but it needs a little smoothing out.

[laceyjane23]

Great descriptive lines! I liked this piece, good luck in my contest.
Laceyjane

[Jason Henry]

as a guitarist myself, i have to say thank you for encapsulating the beast within the instrument in words...thanks for sharing. great job!

[Riverdance]

I agree with Annalisa; it does need a little smoothing to it. But overall, I enjoyed it!
Great descriptions and sense of mood.

Thanks for entering in the Move Me contest!

`Rd

[dilettante1890]

I love this, strong and powerful!

[Angelic Darkness]

This is dark, taunting, and a tad teaseful;). I would say though
that in this stanza: Black monsters pass trough me

I believe you meant it to be through me.

AD

[James K. Blaylock]

I love my Rock N Roll louding enough to wake the dead... Good work!

jkb

[Kitty]

Ooooh I really enjoyed reading this. Loved the imagery. made me hear the groans. AWESOME write!!!!!!

Josie

[Dorchadas]

wow Adela an ehchanting write.
I love how you make the connection between pleasure and pain
"I whisper pleasure through pain�
Know that I won't harm you."
I don't know are they as far removed as many people believe.
Intense poem, intense feelings, expressed beautifully,written beautifully ;)

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

A compelling, succint write. I think you mean to use the word 'through' rather than 'trough'. Very enjoyable. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha