The Committee

The Committee

A Story by Aeneas Barton
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A look at a meeting of a special committee, formed to solve the country's problems.

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The politicians all took their seats in the room. The cabinet members followed suit along with the head of the executive.

“Right then…” The president began, I assume we are all here, if not, it’s no big deal. I hereby declare this meeting to order. Now as you know the nation isn’t doing so well. Unemployment is up, jobs are down, inflation is up, purchasing power is down, people are angry, people aren’t happy, the wars are unpopular, people are losing their homes, they are protesting, and the country is in debt, more so then ever before. This needs to change, what should we do?”


The room erupted with voices, all shouting!

“terrorism!”

“global warming!”

“banks!”

“Big business!”

“Education!”

“Poverty!”


“Silence!” The president screamed. “Follow decorum please…”


Right after the President’s scream, a Senator walked into the door. Being the only one late, everyone turned to look at him.


“Why are you late?” barked the president


“Sorry sir, but I did not know we were supposed to change the time over the weekend. Nobody notified me.” The Senator replied forcefully as he took his seat with all of his other comrades.


A Representative spoke up from the back of the room “I almost forgot too, it wasn’t until the maid told me this morning that I realized.”


Another Senator spoke up “I addressed this topic last week if you recall Mr. President and I would like at this time to submit the same proposition I did last week, in order to prevent this sort of thing from occurring again.”


“Very well then, let’s have it.”


The senator stood tall. “I hereby propose Proposition 321108945-7B which seeks to establish the creation of a committee, to remind, enforce, and ensure the changing of this committee’s clocks at the correct time each year.”


Half the crowd clapped and cheered, while the other half grumbled and boo’ed. The room then erupted into a shouting frenzy with slurs being hurled left and right.


“Order! Order!” Shouted the President. The room fell silent.


“Your proposition is duly noted, and if this body decides we can take a vote on it now.”


Another Senator got up, “I for one would not like to vote on this, and will oppose any efforts to start a vote on this!” 


Half the room cheered and clapped as the Senator went back to his seat.


“The opposition from the Senator is duly noted. Are there any other statements that need to be made?”


Nobody rose to be recognized to speak. 


“Very well then…” continued the president, “we shall put the vote to a vote. All those in favor of voting on having a vote on the proposition of creating a committee to enforce that the time changes are made by the committee say aye”


Half the room erupted with ayes.


“All those opposed”


Half the room erupted with nays.


“Very well the ayes have it. We shall now take the vote”


At this precise moment a Senator stood up. “Mr. President, I demand the vote be roll called.”


“Are there any objections to this?” As soon as the president asked this, half the room erupted into protest, and objections.


“Order! Order I say!” The room then fell silent again.


“Now then, what say this committee on the roll call vote?”


A senator rose “If I may Mr. President, I request a minute to speak.”


“Without objection.”


“Thank you Mr. President. Now If I may be so bold as to say, that in the time we have been here we have spent quite a bit of time arguing and bickering, I propose we move beyond all this, and would like to offer up a motion to suppress all propositions that have no relevant issue to discuss.”


“I Second that motion” A random representative called out.


A cabinet member quickly rose to his feet “While I would like to second the motion as well, I’d like to also introduce a motion to suppress the original motion made by the senator on the grounds that it meets its own criteria for suppression."


“I second that motion and demand we proceed to a vote!”


The room went wild with cheers and applause. “Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote!”


“Order! Order!”


The committee became louder and louder “Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote!”


“Order d****t! Order! Down with this sort of thing! Down with it I say! Order!”

After a few minutes of the President shouting the meeting was called back to order.


“Very well then, now that calm has been restored, we shall take a vote. Those in favor of the motion to suppress the motion, which would, do away with the roll call vote that was done in order to decide if to vote on the proposition, please say aye.”


The room erupted in near unanimous shouts of Aye.


“All opposed?” Only a few nays rang out.


“Very well then the motion passes, and the motion is suppressed and the roll call vote on the vote is stricken. Now for the vote on the committee to enforce that the committee changes its clocks. All in favor say aye.” The entire room shouted Aye


“All opposed say nay.” There was only one nay vote.


“The proposition passes. Ladies and gentlemen, a lot has been accomplished today, be proud of the good job you all are doing.”


The committee members erupted in joy and cheers as they shook each other’s hands and patted each other on the back. Then very loudly a member rose and shouted “I set forth a motion to adjourn this meeting.”


“I second that motion!” shouted the president. “Let’s put it to a vote. All in favor say aye!" Everyone in the room shouted aye.


“All opposed say nay.” No dissenting votes were made.


“Very well then the meeting is adjourned, have a good holiday season.” And with that the president left the room and the rest of the committee followed.


© 2013 Aeneas Barton



Author's Note

Aeneas Barton
The paragraph breaks in this piece are a bit of a challenge to place, so I am open to any suggestions. If you find any grammar or spelling issues, please let me know. And please don't be afraid to be critical, otherwise I will never be able to improve.

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Added on January 8, 2013
Last Updated on January 9, 2013
Tags: satire, politics, president, congress, senators, taoiseach, prime minister, parliament, conservative, labour, republican, democrat, liberal, green, libertarian

Author

Aeneas Barton
Aeneas Barton

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I am who I am. You know the best way to go about meeting a stranger is through conversation. I get inspired to write by various different things. Sometimes it's music, other times, it's by listening t.. more..

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