First Impression

First Impression

A Story by Aeneas Barton

A boy's first impression, of a girl who has just walked in the door

He looked at his watch. It was 11:59 but only for seven more seconds. He figured he'd leave the party soon. He glanced up from his watch towards the front door at the exact second that she was walking through the open doorway. He took note.

Her brown hair, straight, dropped down just below her shoulder. Her hazel eyes he imagined were the type that could get through 'Waiting for Gadot' without a blink. The natural smile she had on reminded him of Audrey Hepburn,  Paris When It Sizzles? How to Steal a Million? Maybe more Breakfast at Tiffany's? Which one of her movies?

She was taller than Hepburn though not by much...but definitely taller. The way she carried her shoulders was that of a woman who seemed more refined than the average girl. Her bust implied that perhaps she was the sporty, but not too much so. It seemed to him that she was someone who could pull off elegance in a way that one could only imagine. The flowing white skirt gave a slight wave to him as if beckoning. He wouldn't answer though, not while he was looking at her ankles and legs. They were scarless, unlike his. He took note of the milky white pigment that followed through out her entire body, a smooth skin that could soothe even the most savage of beasts.

Her nostrils flared ever so slightly as she raised her hand to her hair and began to put it behind her ear. Her triple pierced ears wearing two shiny studs and a blue star at the end held her hair back with gentle ease. Her neck lacked any marks that could be left by someone else, it didn’t however; lack one slight scar. He looked at it, the line that stood out ever so slightly. He found it, and while difficult to tell he had indeed found an imperfection. He smiled to himself about this. He wondered if anyone else noticed. He wasn't examining anymore, he was appreciating. He was smitten. She seemed like a very lovely girl to him.

His watch made a was now midnight.

© 2013 Aeneas Barton

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Nice descriptive piece.

Posted 5 Years Ago

Aeneas Barton

5 Years Ago

Thank you. This is a second draft, I really wanted to expand on it, just wasn't sure where, or if it.. read more

5 Years Ago

I don't think you need to go on with it. In fact, I think you should end it like this:
"He was.. read more

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1 Review
Added on March 9, 2013
Last Updated on March 9, 2013
Tags: first, impression, beauty, smitten, love, party, thoughts


Aeneas Barton
Aeneas Barton

I am who I am. You know the best way to go about meeting a stranger is through conversation. I get inspired to write by various different things. Sometimes it's music, other times, it's by listening t.. more..

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