Nature's Rage

Nature's rage during a Summer rain storm.

Nature’s Rage

 

From my porch, I hear their small

tapping liquid feet.

Pitter patter, raindrops fall

fast and bittersweet.

 

Traffic screech’s to a crawl

on my flooded street

as a somber murky pall

merges with concrete.

 

Nature’s raging protocol

lifts the Summer’s heat

from embroiled urban sprawl

pounding it with sleet.

 

On this day, I watch them all

drowning in conceit

sinking under waves of gall

suffering defeat.

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Awesomesauce, very nicely written… I love a good rain storm. It sloths the soul and clears the air of man made pollutants.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review! It clears the air only if it isn't acid rain made by toxic smokestack emissions which destroy crops and cause emphysema.

[Sunny Lotus Eyes]

Nice. What is the meter you have used?

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Sunny! I used overlapping meter where the top line is 1/0/1/0/1/0/1 seven syllable meter, and the alternating line is 1/0/1/0/1 five syllable meter; where 1 = accent; 0 = non-accent; All rhymes are exact, only two sounds are used throughout the poem.

[Gregory Stires]

the way you wrote this poem is very descriptive. i practically could visualize the sound of raindrops and a the screeching of a cars tires during a major traffic jam. the way you wrote your poem made it easy to actually imagine the it all.i also like the simile used in this part.

Traffic screech’s to a crawl
on my flooded street
as a somber murky pall
merges with concrete.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Gregory! Also notice how I use a Classical style using meter and exact rhyme. 1/0/1/0/1/0/1 seven syllable meter overlapping 1/0/1/0/1 five syllable meter where 1 = an accent; 0 = a non-accent. No rhyme word is forced. No rhyme word is used more than once. It may look simple, but it's very complex.

[Sunny Lotus Eyes]

I personally prefer free verse but is it trochees that you prefer?

[Aethereal]

Just because free verse has no rhyme, in most cases, there’s no reason to think that it needs no meter. Every poem should have some kind of rhythm to it unless it's about discordance and a poet wants the structure to reflect a willy-nilly topic. The most difficult thing to do is inject rhythm into a poem be it free verse or rhyming verse. Good free verse is just as challenging as rhyming verse. I add both meter and rhyme to my poems because I can; this is why explorers climb mountains.

[Sunny Lotus Eyes]

Thanks! Good job.:)

[Stephanie M]

This poem is very nicely written. The used of description in your poem was done well. I could almost hear the sound of the rain, and screeching of the tires on a wet road during a traffic jam. I liked the way
you compared the somber gray stormclouds to the bitterness of defeat.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Stephanie M! Before I write a poem, I don't know how it will turn out. For some strange reason, the words come to me out of an infinity of choices. All I started out with was a mood that I was having during a rainstorm; the creative force of the mood carried me from there.

[WindSong]

I love it! I especially like reading and writing poems of nature, as it has so much to offer the poet. The presentation, rhyme and imagery are superb! I enjoyed reading your wonderful poem!

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, WindSong! I love those Summer rain storms.

[NeiL ArandA]

You are very good with rhyming scheme . It just comes natural for you this way. Perhaps you just did this piece in one sitting or one sunday evening or afternoon while watching the pelting rain ...
You have an amazing mind Aethereal ... I wish I could go inside and find out the secrets behind ...

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Neil! I wrote this poem in half an hour. When I was in high school, I had enough sense to play dumb so as to fit in with all the other students, but my teachers where terrified of me since I never seemed to struggle very much with school work. I'd read all my text books the first week of school, and then put them away; then I’d spend the rest of the school year correcting my teacher’s mistakes after class so other students wouldn't know. The world’s cruel towards people such as I once they discover them. My mother had the same problem.

[NeiL ArandA]

I won't be cruel ... You have a beautiful mind and the world is ignorant about it. You know people destroy and hate what they don't understand. I won't be cruel ...promise !

[Shirlena]

The image you used is beautiful and contrast with the scene described in the poem. I like that, it seems to drive home the point of the poem even greater. At night thing do take on a more sinister tone because there is the unknown, even though the night might be a beautiful one. There is still something foreboding that can usually conjure unspoken warnings. Intriguing poem :).

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Shirlena! Contrast is an important element in every poem for nothing's visible without contrast.

[Lyn Anderson]

In the end we are all defeated by nature should she so choose ... great thoughts here. One question, is screech's poetically licensed, or should it be screeches?

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, KLGoode! Screeches would be the plural of screech, and screech's is the act of screeching. I could have just said "Cars screech to a noisy crawl."

[Lyn Anderson]

American, Canadian, potato, poTATO screeches or screech or screech's is the writer's prerogative.:)

[Aethereal]

This is true! Whatever form is used is understood by the context. This line of poetry produces many screeches among screeching readers as the art-of-poetry screech's to a halt. My spell checker didn’t red-line “screech’s” in the previous sentence.

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Again your brilliance abounds.. the beautiful image of the rain falling to mimic a sorrowful soul... yet the gorgeous tumulting clouds, spilling liquescent sentiment...to mingle with the trodden streets..paint such an emotional picture that leaps in my soul. You have a beauty that resonates in your writing...Fantastic work.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your lovely revoew, Kalypso! I tried to express my feelings on such a rainy day as this was..

[Aethereal]

I had such a thunderstorm here right now... and the images you create,
along with your perfect as ever rhyme scheme, are fantastic, you bring always something new,

through the strict verses... there is a story, a thing to catch... in between the lightnings.
Aw, gorgeous!!

- Elisa

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Elisa! A storm is approaching here tomorrow. I love watching them from my window.

Oh I hope not a too bad one my friend... stay safe and cozy inside. :) I love storms too, have a huge mental, and physical connection with them.... in my poem, ~ Light in the Sky I explained I get migraines before they come...