Dust to Dust

About the beginning and end of a love affair.

Dust to Dust

 

 

Twirling specks of dust

dance inside our view

with that wanderlust

that once held us too.

 

Pirouette,

play roulette

till sunset.

 

Once a lovely gust,

powerful and true,

joined the two of us

into something new.

 

A strong jet

may beget

a duet.

 

Underneath our crust,

our devotions grew.

Wonder, love, and trust

filled us through and through.

 

Once we met,

our kismet

was reset.

 

Finally we were thrust

into a hot flue

that made us combust

into residue.

 

This upset

made us sweat,

and forget.

Reviews

[Stephen]

Another beautiful poem written by you ... I enjoyed reading it. Moreover, the lovely part of the write I love is ...

Once a lovely gust,
powerful and true,
joined the two of us
into something new.

The souls are made to be one so the heart is but the beats are different apparently which`re well expressed in this beautiful poem. Great job!!

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Stephen! Here, I used 1/0/1/0/1 five syllable meter, and 1/0/1 three syllable meter. 1 = stress; 0 = no stress.

[Stephen]

My pleasure as always, Aethereal! Uumm .. Okay, well, due to lack of time, I couldn`t get some time to study on "Meters" .. but yeah, now I think, I can give some time to learn this talent reading your much/bunches of stuffs .. Thanks for letting me know about syllable you used in this write .. Uumm, well, Can I ask, are there any basic rules studying/learning these "Meters?"

[Aethereal]

Just make sure that the stressed accents and unstressed accents are in the right place. 1 = stressed; 0 = not stressed. The dictionary tells you were the stress falls on each syllable of a given word. One syllable words may be either stressed or not stressed if you want them to be. Learn how to use the Microsoft Works Word Processor to look up dictionary words to see where the accents are stressed. Learn to use the Microsoft Thesaurus that is part of his word processor. You may devise any stress pattern that you want, but just follow through with it.

[Stephen]

Okay ... yeah, I think, you`re right. I should learn how to check "Accents" in "Word Processor" first then I should head on .. isn`t it? So, Yeah ... today, before reading your more stuffs, I`d go and learn how to use it .. because may be, your right with your words .. thanks again for your kind words ...As I learn how to use it, i`d make sure to let you know ASAP to me .. until I learn or study about it .. you keep posting your wonderful stuffs because your stuffs `re everything to me climbing in the tree to learn these "Meters" .. All the best for your upcoming stuffs! ;)

[icelandicblue]

This is beautifully lyrical. It spins a tale of love that burns so hot all that is left is ash. Brava on this one Aethereal you have done a masterful job!

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, blue! The Earth herself may be seen as a spinning globe of stardust, and we her dusty children.

[Samuel Pennell]

I really love this one, Aethereal! I love the play with the sounds and the meanings of the words. This is infinitely clever. It is cryptic and sublime.

Check out my poem about dust and sunlight pouring in through a window as well!

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/samspennell/1038343/

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Samuel! Dust and light two of the most powerful poetic mantras of all time. I'll be happy to read your poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

really like the last stanza...and i like the way you used rhyme in this...subtle yet there, not forced in the feel...

yes sometimes relationships are just too combustible because there is just too much heat, and it burns out too soon.

but that attraction to begin with? wow.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, jacob! All I did was what you have been doing all the time within your free verse poems. I took two simple objects, two specks of dust, and made them into a metaphor for a relationship.

[Bright Ocean Star]

A, I liked the majority of this poem, but it sort of died on the last stanza. I really liked the entire first seven stanzas quite a bit....but I would change the last one, I think.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Star! It was supposed to die out on the last stanza since a poem isn't a short story or a novel. Epic poems are no longer in demand these days. I wasn't about to send this Dust Duet on an old fashion Greek Odyssey.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Touche', my friend. You have a point. It keeps with the intended meaning of the poem. I guess I just got lost in the verbal mastery and majestic delivery of the first seven stanzas, and I didn't feel it in the eighth. However, that was your intent all along. I see that now. Great write, Aethereal!

[Aethereal]

You're welcome! Also notice how I only used each exact rhyme word only once throughout the entire metered poem.

[Sam]

I think it's rather good. Wanderlust. Kismet. However, I think it needs two more stanzas between:
'filled us through and through.' and 'Once we met.' But that's just my opinion.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Sam! If I wanted to I could have placed a thousand stanzas in this poem, but a poem isn't a short story or a novel. No one reads epic poems anymore so I don’t write them. You must fill in the details with your imagination.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Well, just like they always say, "everything has an end".
Another profound poem from you. Awesome!

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Dhaye! But every end may lead to new beginnings. Dust has no idea of anything greater than itself, and thus dust must think of itself as a paragon of excellence.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

You're welcome.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Wow that was sweet, charming and very witty. Awesome piece of poetry you got there.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Cowboy! Everything, including dust, has a charm to relate.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Wow that is a great way to look at things… I like that.