Deceived love

Deceived love

A Poem by Agnibo
"

Composed this a few months back upon love (Deceived, as the till suggests). :)

"
When our fingers used to entwine,
I used to think you were only mine.
Now, neither the time remains nor you;
Just broken promises and memories, a few.

But for that I won't whine.
Instead, I will say, "It's all fine."
But, deep down, remember!
That grudge will remain forever.

© 2017 Agnibo



Author's Note

Agnibo
All kinds of criticism will be highly appreciated. :)

My Review

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Featured Review

Yes, the course of breaking up with the one which you thought was the 'one' can hurt. The flrst line of when fingers intertwine - this line sums everything up for me. Its always the little things like this that mean and feel so much more after the break up. But then again its always the little things...
You have captured feelings of emotiom and painted images of how most of us have felt at least once in a lifetime.

Kudos to you for this piece.
So few words, yet so much has been said.

Mark.

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Agnibo

9 Months Ago

Thanks a lot, Mark. :)
I am glad that you liked it.
And, yes, you are right. I wrote .. read more
matrixmark

9 Months Ago

It always hurts but time heals.
I would say it was a pleasure to have read BUT that wouldn't .. read more
Agnibo

9 Months Ago

Yes! Time heals. :
Thank you, Mark. :) TYSM!



Reviews

Line two, the word 'are' should be 'were' to keep your tenses the same. Second stanza, second line, the word you want is 'say' instead of 'tell'. I hope this helps. Otherwise, You're poem seems fine to me. I'm not that great at knowing English rule. But I believe if you stick to it and don't get discouraged, you will become a good English poet. I'm glad I'm not trying to create in your native language. (I presume English is not a first language for you - correct me if I'm wrong.) Blessings, Isabella.

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Agnibo

9 Months Ago

Thanks a lot, Isabella. Thanks for correcting the errors. Yes, It helped me a lot.
And, no, .. read more
Isabella Ivy

9 Months Ago

You are most welcome!
Honest words led to true ending. The pain of love lost. Leave us with a forever scar. Thank you Agnibo for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Agnibo

9 Months Ago

Yes, it does. It leaves us with a forever scar. Thanks for reading. :)
You are welcome. :)read more
This one has a lovely flow. I feel like you should have a pic too. :)

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Agnibo

9 Months Ago

Thank you! :)
Yes, sure! I will add one then.
Thanks for reading. :)
Giullia King

9 Months Ago

You're welcome :)
I can feel the emotions for this

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Agnibo

9 Months Ago

I am happy that you could relate.
Thanks for reading. :)
I am one to believe that love and grudges cant coexist
and cant replace one another
they are the opposites
but it can touch the soul at times
disappearing so fast

made me think ......

Posted 9 Months Ago


But for that I won't whine.
Instead, I will tell, "It's all fine."

Now that is power and acceptance! A great write and a lovely read.


Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Agnibo

9 Months Ago

Thanks a lot, Sonakshi. :) I am really glad that you liked it.
Actually, I wrote this right .. read more
Yes, the course of breaking up with the one which you thought was the 'one' can hurt. The flrst line of when fingers intertwine - this line sums everything up for me. Its always the little things like this that mean and feel so much more after the break up. But then again its always the little things...
You have captured feelings of emotiom and painted images of how most of us have felt at least once in a lifetime.

Kudos to you for this piece.
So few words, yet so much has been said.

Mark.

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Agnibo

9 Months Ago

Thanks a lot, Mark. :)
I am glad that you liked it.
And, yes, you are right. I wrote .. read more
matrixmark

9 Months Ago

It always hurts but time heals.
I would say it was a pleasure to have read BUT that wouldn't .. read more
Agnibo

9 Months Ago

Yes! Time heals. :
Thank you, Mark. :) TYSM!
Yes. I agree with your views. A bit of regret and guilt always haunts us. I truly liked this poem. Well done.
Now, neither the time remains nor you;
Just broken promises and memories, a few.
This line is my favourite.

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Agnibo

9 Months Ago

Thank you so much, Najam. :) I am really glad that you liked it. It's one of my early works. :)
read more
Najam Us Saher

9 Months Ago

You're welcome

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Added on March 11, 2017
Last Updated on March 19, 2017

Author

Agnibo
Agnibo

Assam, India



About
Hello! I am Agnibo Chakrabory. I am from India. I am a wanna be poet and novelist. I love Composing poems of various forms. Amoung my favourite poems, I love the poem, "Don't stant at my grave and wee.. more..

Writing
I wish I wish

A Poem by Agnibo



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