Deceived love

Composed this a few months back upon love (Deceived, as the till suggests). :)

When our fingers used to entwine,
I used to think you were only mine.
Now, neither the time remains nor you;
Just broken promises and memories, a few.

But for that I won't whine.
Instead, I will say, "It's all fine."
But, deep down, remember!
That grudge will remain forever.

Author's Note

All kinds of criticism will be highly appreciated. :)

Reviews

[matrixmark]

Yes, the course of breaking up with the one which you thought was the 'one' can hurt. The flrst line of when fingers intertwine - this line sums everything up for me. Its always the little things like this that mean and feel so much more after the break up. But then again its always the little things...
You have captured feelings of emotiom and painted images of how most of us have felt at least once in a lifetime.

Kudos to you for this piece.
So few words, yet so much has been said.

Mark.

[Agnibo]

Thanks a lot, Mark. :)
I am glad that you liked it.
And, yes, you are right. I wrote this right after my break up. These emotions were just paining me for a long time. So, I just pasted them on a piece of paper. And, this is the result. :)

[matrixmark]

It always hurts but time heals.
I would say it was a pleasure to have read BUT that wouldn't sound right. So instead, i will say. Well done on putting your emotions out there and well penned.

Mark.

[Agnibo]

Yes! Time heals. :
Thank you, Mark. :) TYSM!

[Isabella Ivy]

Line two, the word 'are' should be 'were' to keep your tenses the same. Second stanza, second line, the word you want is 'say' instead of 'tell'. I hope this helps. Otherwise, You're poem seems fine to me. I'm not that great at knowing English rule. But I believe if you stick to it and don't get discouraged, you will become a good English poet. I'm glad I'm not trying to create in your native language. (I presume English is not a first language for you - correct me if I'm wrong.) Blessings, Isabella.

[Agnibo]

Thanks a lot, Isabella. Thanks for correcting the errors. Yes, It helped me a lot.
And, no, English is not my first language. You are right. :)
Thank you for such a amazing review.

Agnibo

[Isabella Ivy]

You are most welcome!

[Coyote Poetry]

Honest words led to true ending. The pain of love lost. Leave us with a forever scar. Thank you Agnibo for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Agnibo]

Yes, it does. It leaves us with a forever scar. Thanks for reading. :)
You are welcome. :)read moreYes, it does. It leaves us with a forever scar. Thanks for reading. :)
You are welcome. :)

Agnibo

[Giulia King]

This one has a lovely flow. I feel like you should have a pic too. :)

[Agnibo]

Thank you! :)
Yes, sure! I will add one then.
Thanks for reading. :)

[Giulia King]

You're welcome :)

[RahmaChio]

I can feel the emotions for this

[Agnibo]

I am happy that you could relate.
Thanks for reading. :)

[B]

I am one to believe that love and grudges cant coexist
and cant replace one another
they are the opposites
but it can touch the soul at times
disappearing so fast

made me think ......

[Sonakshi Arora]

But for that I won't whine.
Instead, I will tell, "It's all fine."

Now that is power and acceptance! A great write and a lovely read.

[Agnibo]

Thanks a lot, Sonakshi. :) I am really glad that you liked it.
Actually, I wrote this right after my break-up. So, I just pasted whatever I had on my mind on a piece of paper. :)

[Najam Us Saher]

Yes. I agree with your views. A bit of regret and guilt always haunts us. I truly liked this poem. Well done.
Now, neither the time remains nor you;
Just broken promises and memories, a few.
This line is my favourite.

[Agnibo]

Thank you so much, Najam. :) I am really glad that you liked it. It's one of my early works. :)
read moreThank you so much, Najam. :) I am really glad that you liked it. It's one of my early works. :)
Thank you so much.

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome