The Crime

The Crime

A Poem by TonyJay

Darkness was all around 
Light shone from the corner 
Chalk lines on the ground

Many questions but no answer
Next to the strip club
Another fallen dancer

Blood stains and bullet holes
A complete mystery
A tragic lost soul 

Residents sleep if they can 
Could you? 
With the death of your fellow man?

With emotion it is still a crime
Thrill and suspense
Like a mountainous climb

It is crime
No, it is THE crime 

© 2011 TonyJay


Author's Note

TonyJay
All right?

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Reviews

Great word-play in "Light shone from the corner / Chalk lines on the ground". I am left feeling unsure of the final intent.

Think that the succinct 'punchy style' is worth developing.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Loved the style adopted and it flowed really well. As has been said the imagery was really vivid and scenes from The Wire were evoked in my mind. Great work

Posted 12 Years Ago


It was simple but full of passion. The words you wrote seemed to make a picture in my mind. Good job


Posted 12 Years Ago


Wow, i am impressed with your style, This is wonderful...xo

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

simple and flows perfectly, a tad realative for my liking but a great imagery lends to the subtly of the piece.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice flow and very creative.
♥ Ta'Shandra

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very nice, flow is great and has depth in this little neat poem that is so great!!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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234 Views
7 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 22, 2011
Last Updated on August 22, 2011

Author

TonyJay
TonyJay

Neola, IA



About
Writer born in Valparaiso, nebraska. I am currently looking for a publisher for my first book. I love sports and reading, but have become an inspiring author. Though I am only 16 I have won state and .. more..

Writing
Chapter 1 Chapter 1

A Chapter by TonyJay



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