Happy To Know You Still Care

Happy To Know You Still Care

A Poem by Akshat♥
"

You can't predict anything in life...

"
























Most Beautiful music in the world is your own heartbeat.

It gives an assurance that you will survive 
even when the whole world leaves you alone...
and my heartbeat is you

Starting phase of love begins with friendship
and keeping a friend is as difficult as losing one
you sacrifice a lot to keep them.

I may not have sacrified enough for you..
but in my heart I swear am keeping you

Once I wish to have a key to your heart
now I have the heart but the key is lost forever...

We had a fight
We stop talking to each other

Days pass by
I still feel the sense of your touch
How you make me smile
Now those days are over...

We always fight about stupid things
and regret later..

We always feel sorry
and do it again

On my birthday you gave me a rose
and said goodbye..
I was so stupid to think for
one second you actually cared..



© 2013 Akshat♥



Author's Note

Akshat♥
Review it and give your honest views...I am waiting:)

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Featured Review

It would be more inviting to know who this poem is for, but whoever it was lost a valuable friend --anyone who understands that "the most beautiful music is a heartbeat and that heartbeat is for you" would be a good friend indeed. This poem has a nice flow and is SO well written. Thanks, and excellent work!

Posted 5 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Beautiful music in the world is your own heartbeat - lovely phrases, and expresses your feelings in different words... Keep on writing!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Akshat♥

4 Years Ago

Thank you dear :)
This is a wonderful piece, Akshat.. you used some imagery and metaphors in which opened up the poem more and allowed the reader to see what was going on. I did find one serious grammatical error.. you switched pronouns from you to her. If you start out in you, stay in you, same if you start in her... I will show you the areas:

Days pass by
I still feel the sense of her touch
How she make me smile
Now those days are over...

both "her" and "she" should be "you"

On my birthday she gave me a rose
and said goodbye..
I was so stupid to think for
one second she actually cared..

both "she"s should be you.

Other than that, this is a really great poem.


Posted 4 Years Ago


Akshat♥

4 Years Ago

thank you dear..i will correct my mistakes:)
Ravyne Hawke

4 Years Ago

good deal dear
Lovely poem :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Akshat♥

4 Years Ago

Thank you dear :)
Really good piece of writing and so emotional ending too

Posted 4 Years Ago


Akshat♥

4 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Your writing is so Good. Well Done! Keep Writing Friend!

Do u read mine 2 "Why?, Who is a Poet"

If possible then give your reviews..

Regards,
Lucky

Posted 4 Years Ago


Akshat♥

4 Years Ago

Sure! thank you :)
Gobinder Singh Dhindsa

4 Years Ago

Welcome
Once I wish to have a key to your heart
now I have the heart but the key is lost forever...
beautifully done..i like these lines :).. good job !

Posted 4 Years Ago


Akshat♥

4 Years Ago

Thank you :)
luv ya!
its awsome... :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Akshat♥

4 Years Ago

Thank you purva :)
means a lot to me...
Purva Pathak

4 Years Ago

mah pleasurw :)
Pictures help this poem to build in a good way..
nicely written

Posted 4 Years Ago


Akshat♥

4 Years Ago

thank you :)
Care is something that everybody wants in life from their dear ones..
Nicely written :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Akshat♥

4 Years Ago

thank you :)
:) you say many things very effectively here. Makings of a great poet.
I liked - I may not have sacrified enough for you..
but in my heart I swear am keeping you
Though the poem starts and ends differently I loved the wry cynicism with which you end.
90/100 for swell poetry.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Akshat♥

4 Years Ago

thank you :)

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Shelved in 10 Libraries
Added on December 7, 2011
Last Updated on July 26, 2013

Author

Akshat♥
Akshat♥

New Delhi, India



About
hello(Namaste), You can call me (or ashu), I LOVE MYSELF...!! :-P I am methodical,practical and a great friend....!!! I never make snap decisions, preferring to weigh the pros and cons of every.. more..

Writing
Miracle Miracle

A Poem by Akshat♥



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