My Favorite Place,Sedona

My first poem!

Admiring the sunrise
The swaying of the butterflies
Hearing the singing birds
Like a lovely melody came out their chirps

Unwinding by the large red rocks you can't compare
Enjoying the cool breeze in the air
Listening to the waterfalls in the distance
All your worries will be relinquished

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think and how to make it better!:)

Reviews

[Kibbles and Quips]

Okay, this is a great first go at a poem! I enjoy the fact you don't use perfect rhymes each and every time. Your imagery is decent, and no offense, but it can be improved. Try to show more instead of telling us. For instance, the first line says "admiring the sunrise." Make the reader admire it. Paint it for us with your literary pallet detailing the spectrum between yellow and red with blues which bled their way onto your canvas. Additionally, try to veer away from using gerunds too often. They're very soft sounding versions of verbs. I'm not saying never to use them but to use them with purpose and sparingly.

Sorry, I tend to go on tangents, but I truly enjoyed your first poem and definitely think it and you have potential! Keep writing and thanks for sharing!

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Sedona. Iv'e not been there. How beautiful it must be to inspire you. Nature's bounty is so full of colors and creatures all with such differing and variant qualities. I want to see more of your musings. Keep it up!

[Bala Gorthi]

Welcome to this zone.. I enjoyed reading your write.
Rome is not built in one day. Keep writing and sharing more. Reading also helps.
I also agree with the view of Handsomekenn.
Go ahead . I look forward to more from you.
Thanks for sharing. Keep writing.:-):-):-)