Flightless

I was blind...but now I see

 

Once upon a midnight pass

a man and woman stand as one

holding hands and toting chairs

thinking they are all alone.

Marshmallow clouds in sundae sky

umbrellas flapping on talcum sand.

as the couple stroll and finally reach

the awesomeness of Siesta Key Beach.

 

In a dream or a memory

too difficult to really see

she tantalized her life with fears

as he slowly wiped away her tears.

 

Once upon a memory

perpetual dawn without me

everything appears to scatter

as if my life begins to matter.

Timeframes transcend the reality

of happiness and guarantees

resting on the sands of freedom

alone in thought but not in spirit.

 

In a dream or a memory

sightless flight of a bumble bee

she fantasized her age of reason

as he borrowed from his book of treason.

 

Once upon a lifetime ago

two young people thought as one

they lavished on the road to heaven

and dreamt about which way to go.

Bathers capturing the current waves

freedom ringing in their body surf

as this couple stops to wonder

a life remade of light and thunder.

 

Complexion of the memories

of family, friends and enemies

she analyzed her history

as he lived his life in misery.

 

                             

 

 

 

Author's Note

written October 16, 2011
critiques and reactions please,
thanks
photo: Siesta Key Beach
Sarasota, FL .... February 26. 2011

Reviews

[Chris Taylor]

Such well crafted phrases. I am very moved and enjoyed this piece so much.

[?]

Complexion of the memories
of family, friends and enemies
she analyzed her history
as he lived his life in misery.

Sometimes life's journy does not end where or with whom we want .

[Coyote Poetry]

Life allow us to make many decisions. Two people can start a journey and not end up in the same place. The story had a lot of hidden tale. Life is hard. We can hold on tighter or feel the burn of lost and disappointment. I like the closing lines to this excellent poem.
Coyote

[Kat Collins]

Melancholy and sadness, mixed with bittersweet and love. It is interesting to have two people look back on the same past and feel and see different things. We all experience our lives differently, even when walking hand in hand. A reminder to live a life well and experience it fully.

[Mark]

Mine is a different take on this than that of most of the reviewers. What I'm seeing is the oldest tragedy in all of lovemaking, the inability to be in the moment, to experience the joys of your mutual Now, because of the tragedies and traumas of the Then, which neither partner can cure or erase, yet which still govern the Actions of the One, and therefore the Reactions of the Other. This was revealed to me in the very first stanza, in the line, "imagining themselves alone", when in fact, each bore a string of past victories and defeats, of which their respective defenses would shortly be erected.

[Sunni Davis]

This seems to be both happy and sad....very bittersweet. I love the images, especially the description of "marshmellow clouds in sundae sky" it adds a sort of whimsical note to the otherwise solid feel of this poem. Very nice my friend!

[Poetic Beauty]

This has a happy reflection but the present is less than to be desired. The wording in this poem is amazing and the imagery of the surf and sand are great

[Muse]

light and thunder, this could inspire another great poem. I never looked at my life as a mixture of these two elements. We all get shook up by the thunder that appears into our lives unexpectedly, and you take this experience to the beach. A picture of serentity....rocked with the reality of a thunderous past. I've missed you Allen....glad to see you are still around. :)

[emmajoy]

There seems to be a battle of who was right, who was wrong here, two beings locked in their own scenes, vying for understanding, creeping away from the wonder of past together surroundings onto different paths. There's such an underlying sadness, a hurt, real or otherwise, but so deep. Raw emotion in this, and, rather like peeking thru a crack in a wall

[Inyourshadow]

as he borrowed from his book of treason ~ darn powerful expression, how many times have white lies shattered the image we portray, the loss of faith in love is a bittersweet tale but one so relevant to this day and age when so many build relationships on uncertain foundations. Beautifully told, keep em' coming