Adrift

He came in from the dark of the monsoon of his soul

and pondered how he drifted so far from land

desecration and destruction…torment and anguish

waiting on the other side, hoping I’d find it but praying I don’t

fear, hopelessness and all that appears

statements of contracts entering the room

screaming, “not today, tormenter”

“not today”…

 

And so he becomes me in thought and despair

waiting for the turn, the moment of truth

until I and me combine with him and he

shuttering, tossing my food, crying inside

traffic jams in my mind due to congestion

wailing to my assailant, “not yet”,

I’m here to stay

“not quite yet”…

 

Finally, night becomes dawn in the recess of my heart

fluttering amongst the flowers, plants, and trees

those swaying trees of time and wonder

fate hanging on by a thumbnail and a prayer

receiving and sending love from heaven

in the form of a lightning bolt, a rainbow

believing at the end, “I’m free to be”

knowing “I’m free at last”…

 

Author's Note

written: June 28, 2012
photo: Heaven (February 13, 2011)

Reviews

[Lily Mae]

This is most certainly something I can relate to. Spending most of my life living for others I'm now at a point of integration of what I want, who I want to be and letting go of the past.. A difficult journey.. but it's that rainbow at the end that I keep seeing.. the freedom of standing in your own power..your own essence and loving it for the first time... well there's nothing like it. I hope to be there soon.. Wonderful insight Allen and as always food for thought and soul..xo

[Poetic Beauty]

This makes.me think of someone who has traveled a hard road in life and is waiting for god.to take them so they can feel peace and ease once again.

[Shy Girl]

You know...I as I read this piece I instantly thought of a person struggling through what would be the hardest time in their life. Sickness and trying to become better.. the struggle between mind..body...medicine...heart..spirit. They all fight eachother..one may seem to prevail over another at any given moment throughout this time in life...but ultimately the body is the one to begin to slowly accept... (it knows before us all) then the mind...then the heart...finally the spirit is the last one to leave and find those beautiful blue skies leading to where their heaven may reside. This piece is extremely touching...as though you watched each process happen before your eyes in some way...just a wonderful piece and how each stage to be free can seem harsh first...softer...till just floating felt "Adrift". (maybe wrong though...just had that feel as I read you poem :)

[emmajoy]

Have read this twice, once slowly, once aloud .. tried to find a cause for such emotion. This seems to be a very personal poem, with words that float up to the surface then sink a little as if you aren't entireely sure about where you are at a given moment. An almost but not quite exact point of survival having being lost in darkness perhaps or - the freedom of escaping once and for all?

Your words are strangely harmonious in spite of the subject, your phrasing almost perfect, gentle, not raging tho intense. A memorable piece of writing.

[Chris Yip]

Sounds like a hard day at work followed by rest and peace and night. Still trying to figure out the story behind this poem.

[Brittany]

I like the imagery of the monsoon and traffic jam. This made me think of the internal struggle we all face day to day because of a variety of things...er...at least I do! Nice job.

[Leslie Philibert]

This is a real cracker of a poem, a really good piece of poetry.I like Allen`s poetry as well as his excellent autobiographical prose. This is very good, it all fits, every line paced exactly, all the imagery fits. Great.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

I found this poem to be a beautiful portrayal of the “crossing over”. I guess I am the only one…I still loved it. Guess working in the hospital all night all the time I see this type of struggle as cancer victims fight…then accept the freedom awaiting at hand. This poem seen in this light to me was very beautiful and a full spectrum of the dance of death. Thank you and sorry if I misinterpreted it.

[MOON]

I love the title adrift , the poem it’s almost like an inner struggle to know the self. Fighting, being consumed by depression and fears and finally the knowing and readiness to be. Fighting to live not ready to die and then the acceptance of it all. Love the last line free at last.

[Tate Morgan]

Depression ios what i see in this and the ultimate hope from despair