Explosive

Pricked prunes

and matchboxes 
filled with coal-tipped matches

and hopeful wooden bodies

a lemon that turns sweet?

in a parallel universe; 

sugar-coated in fictional stars

trust is not sold

in bottles of glass, plastic or crystal

readily available to the public

but just as easily 

it can melt, or shatter

and become unattainable 

under a heart's heat

if the furious magpie 

is painted wholly black

there is no hope that it's vulnerable

children will be watched over

as the nest falls;

paints the simple grass

in passionate 

yellow

splatters.

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

The hallmarks for what I would call (and love) acid rock. Nice flow, nice coloring, opens the eyes of the readers.



Nice job

[Alessander]

I like the details to begin with "Pricked prunes/matchboxes/coal-tipped matches" (nice off rhyme there too).

lemons turning sweet is also a nice touch, as it sets up the rest of the piece.

the second stanza with the truth/glass metaphor is a bit more convoluted, but I get the gist, I think.

I really like the introduction of the magpie - it pulls the poem back down to earth, so to speak. It infuses a more darwinian element into the undertones.

like the lemon turning sweet, the poem ends in a somewhat unconventional, as passion is painted as yellow, not red, and I thought "splatters", alluding to blood/red, wrapped it up nicely.

I'm usually not into changing color fonts and such, but I think I get it here with "splatters" though not so much with the lemons.

Regardless, interesting read.