The Crickets and Her

the lullabies

of the many crickets outside
who can't seem to sing themselves to sleep

they scream ruthlessly,
chirping

twittering 
singing
cheeping and

peeping through 

champagne and wasabi Paihia grass

as her and I

-we slide into bed together.

in Paihia the wind rains down

from the star-saturated sky

with twinkles
 tatters and

invisible snowflakes, girl it's cold tonight

and all we can hear

are the crickets in the solitary valley

with the moonlight

snoring soundly on our duvet

I don't,
but she drowses and

 lets out a toneless whistle;

that fingers a yearning melody

along my heartstrings

 her attic is closed for the night

but not the staircase

that leads me to her rooted river

she rolls over, to kiss the wall

and through her dark

wavy charcoal hair

I see her shoulders
rise
          and
                  fall

like my earthquake maintenance

she rolls over again, to
watch me behind

closed eyes, her lips unlatched as

she lets out a doze-ridden purr

that bends into a gentle moan

like an ocean's rush and gush of waves

creaming the tanned sand

and

she takes it in through her mouth

all of it, until she releases

an uttered groan, like

the creak of a safe door

that hides treasures beyond

a mortal's worth

her

stainless face

now contorted into

a dream's sneer of steel

I hold no fear for

the glistening 

fangs of lust that

have morphed themselves

into my mind, she breathes 

againagain

she does, and I do

but

with a submissive sigh that

matches her wardrobe

of fitting murmurs

I drift....

and I dream of her

inside of her

next to her

in the bach with her

in love with her

at last with her

feeling her

 I wake up 

next to her

to find the crickets have fallen asleep.

 

Reviews

[joshua deathdealer]

First off I love the form... Defiantly a sucker for unusual forms. Now the crickets.. I really like how you started with them and ended with them. This really set the tone for me. I could really hear them screaming and then as the poem progressed they lightened up and then with the ending. Awesome well written work.

[Riley]

This is really an awesome poem. You have used so much imagery in this poem that I could see everything. The ending was also awesome, I love how you brought it back to the beginning, mentioning the crickets. Very cool effect!

[Alpris]

Hey, Ali Cloud.
I thought the same about the screaming part too, but I decided to keep it in there because its meant to emphasize how quiet the night is and how loud they seem in the silence and the contentedness with her and I.
Otherwise, thank you all for your reviews! Greatly appreciated.

-Misty

[firefly-dreamin]

this is gorgeous. You create such intricate images in your poems, I love it.
the only thing is I'm not sure about "they scream ruthlessly," cause it just doesn't have the feel of screaming to it and crickets are more of a hum or something. I am in love with the line "champagne and wasabi Paihia grass" just cause it's so unexpected but works really well.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

A visually breathtaking poem.. such an intense complexity to the poem that expresses emotions on many levels.

[Alpris]

Paihia is a place north of Auckland in New Zealand.

[Nidheesh Sankaran]

Nice story lines behind the curtains of the poem...... wats actually paihia???

[Owlgirl]

I love the formatting of the poem, and how it seems to just flow off the page. Also your use of color and varrying spaces is excellent. Well done :)

[cilla]

This is beautiful. I love this type of story poem and one that uses the natural surroundings intricately woven into as an essential part of the story itself. Here the noisy crickets intrude on what should be a dreamy night. And it is the crickets that introduce the exotic location and the two dreamers (one sleeping and one not) cuddled against the cold and against one another. Each verse captures different moments coloring each one subtle tones changing with the ever changing moonlight.

I love ...

peeping through champagne and wasabi Paihia grass

with the moonlight snoring soundly

her attic is closed for the night but not the staircase

her stainless face now contorted into a dream's sneer of steel

And the closing verse that could be a standalone poem by itself. This is a beautiful poem that captures not only the night filled with dreams but also one of love and desire. Sleeping Beauty and the patient Princess who waits to awaken her with a magical kiss.

[Ray]

This is breath taking : I love it ! I'm going to read some more...