Bright Lights in a Dark Room

    "Please wake up. Please." The voice trailed off.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw my brother's face leaning over mine. I was in a dark room, with colorful bright lights all over. I had a good idea that I was in a hospital bed, because of the stabbing pain in my chest and the bleached clean feel of the room. I wanted to ask, just in case.

     "Where am I?" I said, groggily. This made my throat burn. My voice sounded hoarse, like I hadn't spoken in awhile.

Jeremy laughed, but there was still concern in his eyes.

     "You're in a hospital. Do you remember anything that happened after the accident?"

     "WHAT accident?"

     Another soft laugh rumbled out from Jeremy's throat. 

     "Maybe it's good that you don't remember."

I was confused, but Jeremy was probably right. He always was, and he always made sure everybody knew it. Growing up, he was the typical older brother. Mean, self-esteem crushing, but with a sensitive side. He would stand up for me if he knew I was hurting.

     "So, how's Mom?" I asked casually. My mom was quirky, and I knew she was probably coming up with a new "family bonding experience".

Jeremy smiled at me because he knew I was trying to change the subject.

     "You know, the usual. Her new idea is to start a family band. Complete with matching outfits and cute stage names. She has this all planned out. Too bad we have no musical talent."

     "Yeah." I said, laughing.

     "And I guess it definitely won't happen....now." Jeremy said sadly, nodding at the tubes coming out of my arm and the blinking monitors. There was a long pause. The only sound in the room was the steady BEEP-beep.....BEEP-beep of the monitor, letting me know my heart was still beating.

     "Hey, Jeremy, do you mind um....leaving? I'm pretty tired, you know? I'm glad you came and talked to me, though." 

     "Sure, sis. No problem. I'll probably stop by again tomorrow. See you later." He grabbed his tattered brown jacket off the back of his chair and he was gone. 

I snuggled up against the thin pillow. A wave of nostalgia hit me after seeing Jeremy, and I was reminded of home. The lights on the beeping monitors were like the night lights I used to keep plugged into the wall in my childhood bedroom. Jeremy would tease me for it now, but I liked the lights in this hospital room. They made me feel safe, just like the night lights used to. And I needed that now. I switched off the lamp beside my bed and closed my eyes. Surprisingly, I didn't think about my unknown "accident" at all. I was just too tired.....

Author's Note

Reviews?

Reviews

[Alex Thomas]

You keep it very mysterious with the unknown accident. That's a good trick to draw readers in. The emotion stays mostly serious throughout but eases up when a joke is made like in normal conversation. When you wrote "Many it's good you don't remember." Did you mean "maybe"?

[February Kapusniak]

Wow great start to a book it draws others in

[Ruth]

I like the vagueness here, the reader is kept in tension! Great chapter! xx

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good start to the story. You open the door to many mysteries. The story made me desire to know why, where and who? A very good first chapter. I will read on.
Coyote

[Middling]

creates a sense of wonderment, should a chapter not be longer though?

[ettorney]

Well done start to what should be an interesting story. Your on the hook now. Don't leave us in suspense for too long!

nice write

[Samantha Young]

UGH! I need to know what happened in the accident, and what's wrong with her now! This caught my interest instantly! Awesome job! Love the brother-sister love! My brother's the same way, lol.

[Kyle]

I LOVED it, the bit of comical relief was genious, and the mystery suspicious :D

[Jong Schrijver]

I like it. It has a good mixture of suspense and emotion with a mix of comedy and a bit of action too. It leaves me waiting to read more.

[Kirbetsy]

wow that is really good can't wait to read more