Chapter One

Chapter 1

 

This really isn't a very pretty story. I don't even think it's romantic. You might disagree with me, and I don't really care. I find I don't care about much these days. I spend each moment trying to forget, trying to block it out, but it won't go away. It will never go away. I have to make peace with that. I might seem calm, bland even �" but that's because my mind and my heart are usually in such utter turmoil, that all I can do is try to shut everything off, so that I can make sense of things and do what must be done.

For you to understand, I need to take you back to the beginning. It sounds cliché, I know. But how else are you going to understand why the world is in such chaos? It is because I am in chaos.

As soon as I was born, my mother named me Grace. That name seems like such a joke now, given the state of my life. But perhaps something about my name rings true in my life. I'll let you decide.

When I was six years old, I lived in a lovely suburban neighborhood. I was outgoing, I had a lot of friends. At school �" I loved everyone. My bright blue eyes weren't yet steely with pain. My golden blond hair wasn't stringy and bushy from stress and lack of care. My chest wasn't in constant pain, and I had my whole life to look forward to. I didn't think I could be happier, until I met him. I'll tell you how it happened.

It was the night of the 4th of July.  Nearly everyone was setting off fireworks in their backyard. My mom, Canela was serving drinks to her friends in the kitchen. They were laughing and joking amongst each other. I was out in the back yard with my dad, along with a couple of friends and neighbors. We were setting off fireworks. I asked my Dad, Troy, if I could light one. He told me no.

"Come on, Richards, let her have a little fun!" One of my dad's friends cajoled. My dad shook his head disapprovingly at his comment. I waited until they were all distracted and then I rummaged through the box of fireworks and took one. I stole a lighter that had been left on a lawn chair, stuck my rocket in the ground, and lit it. I ran  backwards to get out of the way. Everyone heard the screech and turned to look.

"GRACE! I told you not to touch those!" My dad yelled at me.  The rocket  shot up, but I had badly aimed it. It hit the branch of a tree and ricocheted into the neighbor's back yard. Not just their back yard, it landed in their trash can and exploded. A fire erupted. My dad ran to open the gate. I followed him. He ran to our next door neighbor's  front door and rang the bell.

A boy opened the door.

I locked eyes with the boy, and we both froze. Fireworks were going off a few blocks behind us. I could see the explosion of variously colored lights reflected in his brown eyes, and he in mine. My dad was speaking urgently to the boy, but I don't think either of us really heard what he was saying. We searched each other's eyes, seeing something neither of us had seen in a long time. I think a woman came to the door and stood behind the boy.The woman rushed passed my dad, and they both ran around the house.

 

The boy and I just looked at each other, and then, we both smiled. I began to quietly cry. And so did he.

But we weren't crying from sadness. Something inside of us woke up, and the feeling was so powerful that tears welled up in our eyes.

"Oh my god!" A woman's voice yelled from behind the house.

"Where's your hose?"  My dad's voiced echoed.

I walked up to the boy and lifted my hand up. I caressed his soft, black hair. He reached out and grabbed my other hand. We both moved to hug each other, and wrapped our arms around each other.

"I've missed you," He choked while smiling, his cheek against my hair.

"What's your name?" I asked, my head nestled at the crook of his neck.

"Arden. What's yours?" The little boy asked.  "My name is Grace." I said, holding him tighter.

"That name is perfect for you." He said. I could have stayed in his arms forever.

"Arden, what are you doing?"  Came a woman's voice. "Grace, I could ask you the same thing?" my dad said, laughing.  I looked up at them, their presence seeming faint and surreal while Arden was in my arms.

"Well, anyway, thank you Mr. �"" The woman began.

"Oh, Troy Richards." My dad said and shook her hand. "Vanessa Clydeson." She said. "I'm so sorry about that. Your first day here, and your neighbor's already causing you trouble!" My dad joked nervously.

"It's the 4th of July, so, there's bound to be a bit of mischief. I'm just glad it was contained and the whole house didn't burn down." Vanessa Clydeson joked nervously.

"C'mon Arden, let's go back in." Arden's mom said. I closed my eyes. Arden made no attempt to let go, and neither did I.

Arden's mom grabbed his arm and gently pulled him back. I reluctantly let him go. He held onto my hands.

"Arden, what's gotten into you? What are you doing?"

"And what about you, Grace? I thought boys were full of cooties?" My dad teased.

Arden and I looked into each other's eyes once again for a brief moment.

"I've found myself." Arden uttered warmly. I smiled. His mom pulled on his arm a bit harder, and he gently let go.

"I'll see you tomorrow."  He said.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow." I smiled and watched as they went inside.

"C'mere you little pyro," My dad said. He swooped me up into his arms and carried me inside our house. That night, when I was tucked in and my lights were out, my lips were faintly curved up into a smile.

I slowly began to remember who I was. I recognized him, and he recognized me. Everything was falling into place. I could feel the puzzle pieces coming together to make a beautiful image. He was made of me, and I was made of him. He was the drum beat, and I the melody. No two people were so utterly meant for each other as we were. And we had a destiny to fulfill. My faint smile remained until I fell asleep.

Since our meeting, I spent as many days with him as I could. We went everywhere together when we could. We stayed over at each other's house, did our homework together, played together, laughed together, shared music together. We were so blissfully happy, and so elated to have found each other. We knew there was something we had to do, but we didn't know what yet, and we knew it wasn't time, so we had nothing to worry about. Time was on our side. The universe was on our side. How lucky were we to have found each other? And of all places, he moved in next door. It was a gift, and we treasured all the precious years we spent together.

I was now thirteen, and he was fourteen, and he and I were laying down together in a field of wheat, watching the sun set.

"When I'm older, I'm going to marry you. We're going to be together forever." Arden said, laying on his side, gazing into my eyes. That was our favorite thing to do with each other.

I smiled at him warmly. "What kind of wedding do you want?" I asked, plucking a strand of wheat.

He rolled over onto his back and stared up at the sky. I did the same.

"I don't know yet. We have time to plan." He sighed.  I watched as the clouds floated along in the sky.

"Do you remember what it is we have to do?" I asked him, my eye brows scrunched up, trying to recall what it was that I knew.

"A little. I now remember the date, but what exactly it is, is a little blurry." Arden said.

"It's the same for me," I said, squinting my eyes. "I don't remember exactly what it is, but I know the date, too."

"Ow!" I cried, and Arden clamped down on his right hand. He removed his palm and examined the top of his other hand. There was nothing there. "Was that you?" He asked. I looked at my right hand in time to see a small puncture wound, and a strange looking spider scurrying away.

"A spider bit me." I said. Arden took my right hand where the spider had bitten me and kissed it.

I took his hand, and did the same.  It always amazed me every time we felt each other.

"We'd better get home and have that looked at." Arden said, standing and helping me up. I played with his hair as we walked. It was a little longer now, past his ears �" straight and black. He took my uninjured hand, and we walked in joyful silence together as we headed home.  I loved him. I was in love with him, and he with me. Love is the most beautiful thing �" which means it  must equally be the most horrible thing. Everything wonderful is experienced tenfold, and the same goes for anything bad that should happen to the one you love. Since we felt each other, not just physically, by mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, we did our best to take care of ourselves, as to not hurt the other.

I'd gone home and gotten my hand treated by my mom. That night, at around 3 AM, I woke up sweating. I was feverish, soaked, and feeling this strange sense of dread I'd never felt in my life. My phone rang just minutes later.

"Grace?" It was Arden �" he sounded concerned.

"Yeah?" I sleepily croaked.

"I woke up a few minutes ago, feeling awful. Are you okay?" He asked.

"I think I have a fever." I said.

"I'll come over." He told me.

"No, no. You go back to sleep." I protested weakly.

"Don't be silly, I'm on my way." He said in the most loving tone, and hung up. Several minutes later, he walked into my bedroom. I had, of course, given him a spare key. He sat beside me on my bed and put his hand on my wet forehead. "You didn't have to come. I could have just as easily gotten my parents." I said.

"You really are burning up." His eyes wide with worry. "I think you should see a doctor."

"A doctor? Because of a fever?" I said incredulously.

"You were bitten by a spider. It could be something serious to be worried about!" He said in a high pitched tone.

"My body will just fight it off and I'll feel better eventually." I said weakly.

"Or, your hand will fall off." Arden teased, though, he really was worried. "I'm waking your parents." He began. "Besides, you need to be better for the dance in a few days." He got up to go get my parents.

The dance, right. I was so dazed and tired I'd forgotten all about that. A few minutes later, Arden returned with my mom.

"Honey, what is going on?" She said.

"Arden thinks I need to see a doctor." I said. She looked from me to Arden and sighed in resignation. My mother - both of my parents, knew how much Arden and I loved each other, and knew that when one of us was worried about the other, the only thing left to do was everything they could to assuage our concerns.

"Please, Mrs. Richards," Arden said, picking up the phone beside my bed and handing it to her.  She caved and called the G.P.

Doctor Huang, a small, thick man with kind eyes arrived twenty minutes later and came up to my room. My dad had finally gotten out of bed, and both my parents stood behind the doctor and watched as he performed various tests and examinations. Arden sat on the other side of my bed, intently concerned with what was going on. It was strange. We'd both been worried about each other before, but somehow this was different. He seemed extra anxious. Even though my eyes burned, my body felt like lead, and I could barely think clearly �" I could feel him, and I could feel his sense of urgency.

"Open your mouth and stick out your tongue," Doctor Huang requested. I did so, and he examined the inside of my mouth. When he was done, I closed my mouth and saw him take out a tube from his bag. He rubbed the ointment on my hand where the spider had bitten me. It was red and swollen. He put a bandage on my hand, and stood up.

"So, am I going to be able to crawl up walls now?" I weakly joked.

Dr. Huang, oblivious to my reference, smiled at me and turned to my parents.

"She'll need this applied to the bite regularly, and her bandage will need to be changed each time as well." He said."And her fever may come and go a few times. If she seems better, it might be false." Arden got up and stood by the doctor. Dr. Huang also handed my parents a bottle of pills for me to take. "I'll give them to her." Arden said. He took the bottle and popped out one pill. He handed it to me and gave me the glass of water that was on my night stand. I sat up and swallowed it weakly, and then laid back down. My parents thanked him and escorted him out of my room.

"Bye," I said. Doctor Huang waved to me on his way out.

I looked up at Arden, who yawned. "You should go back to bed now." I said.

He sat beside me and looked at me with a sharp, piercing gaze. "I'll go, but make sure you take care of yourself." He said.

"Don't worry, I will." I said in a pathetically tired tone. He caressed my wrist lovingly. "Is something wrong?" I asked.

Arden rubbed his lips together, as he often did when something was bothering him. "I just don't want anything bad to happen to you." He said, cupping my cheek.

 

"Right back atcha," I said, my eyes too tired to stay open now. I closed them. I felt Arden put his lips on my forehead and kiss me.

"Good night," He whispered. He turned out the lights, and the last thing I heard was the sound of him gently closing the door.

After a few days, I felt a little better. I wasn't feeling perfect �" I was still a bit tired, a little confused, but I wasn't debilitated. I'd just got out of the shower and looked down at my hand. The swelling had gone down. It was the evening, and the dance was in a few hours.  I put on my pastel blue dress. It was knee length with sparkles. My mom came in to do my hair. She put it up. Typical prom style, curls trickling down around a bun, and a flower crown. I put on my white cardigan, and matching white flat shoes, and went down stairs. I hugged my parents, and left my house and went next door to Arden's house. I knocked at the door and heard scrambling footsteps, and then the door opened. It was him, my true love, Arden. Every time I saw him, it was like the first time all over again. His warm, honey skin. His eyes. God, his eyes nearly moved me to tears whenever I looked into them. He always looked at me with such reverence, such love. His black hair was sleeked back. His tuxedo was dark brown, almost burgundy. No matter what he did to himself, he always looked amazing.

"You look beautiful," Arden said, blushing. "So do you," I said, my eyes watering. He took my hand.

"Mom?! We're ready!" He yelled with a smile. "Coming, dear." His mother, Vanessa Clydeson walked into view, looking through her purse for her keys. She looked at us and smiled, shaking her head. "You two �" such a cute couple. I'm glad my boy found someone so pretty, and so lovely." She said, putting her hand on his shoulder. He beamed. "I found the prettiest." He said while looking at me. I knew he meant a whole lot more than just how I looked. I always knew what he meant. It was like we both had our own secret language.

We both got into the backseat and his mom drove us to the end of year dance. We held each other's hand as we gazed out of our windows.

"How are you feeling now?" Arden asked. "I feel okay. A little tired though." I said.

"Mom, can you pick us up early?" Arden asked. "No, no. It's no problem." I protested.

"I knew you'd say that, but how about we just have a couple of dances, and then call it a night?" He said.

I was a little too tired to argue, and he knew this. "Okay," I said, and squeezed his hand affectionately.  We arrived at the school and stepped out of the car. "You two have fun. I'll be back to pick you guys up in a little over an hour." Vanessa said, and drove off. Arden put his arm around me as we walked up to the school. Lights were mounted around the whole building. It looked strange. I wasn't used to being at school so late at night. Something about it felt unreal to me.  We walked inside and went down the halls. They were empty for the most part, except for one or two passersby, wearing a dress or a suit. We entered the gym, and the whole thing have been completely redecorated. It was buzzing with chatter. Nearly everyone from our classes were there. The ambiance was subdued and ethereal. There were balloons everywhere, streamers, a couple of disco balls, fairy lights. Some of our teachers were by the punch, talking amongst each other. A new song started playing, and Arden looked to me and smiled.

"May I have this dance?" He said, presenting his arm to me. I smiled. "Of course you may." I said, and put my hand under his arm. We walked toward the dance floor, and he put his arms around my wasit, and I put mine around his neck. We slow danced, while doing what we loved to do. We looked into each others eyes. My eyes became a bit heavy, entranced while looking at him.

"Is there anything here you like?" Arden asked me.

"You," I softly said, without hesitating. "Let's not state the obvious." He smiled coyly. I knew what he meant. I always knew what he meant. We continued to sway to the slow, melodic music,

"I like the purple fairy lights." I said. Each light was a different shape. One was a flower, one a sun, the other was a swan, and the last, a moon. Arden slowly danced us around until he was facing the purple lights I mentioned.   "I they are nice. I especially like the moon." He said. "I like the sun. There's something mystical about purple." I said. I felt a slight wave of fatigue come over me, so I rested my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms all the way around me, and we danced on.  Moments passed, and it was like it was just us there together, swaying back and forth, feeling our love for one and other.

"Grace?" He tentatively said. I lifted my head up and looked into his eyes. They were beseeching. Shy.

"Yes?" I said.

"You and I have never really kissed." He pointed out. I could feel his heart begin to thump against mine, and mine, in turn, did the same as his. "Well, there were the times you've kissed my hand, my cheeks, my forehead." I corrected with a sleepy, warm smile. He didn't answer, he just looked at me, searching my eyes. He approached his lips to mine, and I closed the distance between us and planted my lips against his. I closed my eyes and felt my cheeks burn. I slowly pulled away and opened my eyes again.

He gently pecked my cheek and smiled, his own cheeks glowing. "I love you, Grace." He said. His eyes watered from the intensity of his feelings.

"I love you, too, Arden." I said. A tear drop dripping down my cheek.

He slowly let go of me, his hand caressing my arm as he let me go. "I'm going to call my mom. We should go home now." He said.

"What? No �""

"Sweety, you're tired. We had our dance. Let's go home now." He said kindly. I sighed. "Okay, we'll go home." He walked across the dancefloor to the phone on the wall near the bleachers. I walked over to the drinks and ladled myself a cup of fruity punch.

"Grace!?" I heard a boy yell my name. It sounded urgent. I looked around for the source, but I couldn't see anyone.

"GRACE!!!" I heard again, this time more desperate. I turned in time to see the exit door closing.  "GRACE!! " The boy's voice called again from behind the door. I looked across the dance floor and saw Arden was still on the phone. I sat my drink down, and headed for the exit. I opened the door and walked outside. The sound of the music inside the school was muffled, but still loud.

"Grace! Grace! GRACE!" A boy yelled. I was now standing in the middle of the parking lot I looked around me. I couldn't see anyone, yet it sounded as if there were a boy standing a few feet away from me.

"Hello?" I answered, confused. And then something came up behind me. Something pure black, as if wearing a cloak made of darkness, wrapped around my whole body. Everything went dark, and I lost consciousness.

 

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it too long need be short then good