October 2nd 2017 & Las Vegas

My day after waking up and hearing about the Mass Shooting in Las Vegas

Today I woke up on the east coast to the news that there was a mass shooting in Las Vegas last night.  50 people murdered, more than 400 wounded.  Shooter, Stephen Paddock, dead, 64, an American citizen.    As many times as a tragedy like has happened, I still feel the knife in my heart whenever I hear or see the words “Mass Shooting.”  My mind, like clockwork, focuses into a frenzied list to the order of:

1) Do I know anyone in the targeted area?   This time, yes.  Kim, Tara & Freddy, check.

2) Would they have been at the site of the massacre?  Probably not Kim, but who hates country music but who knows, she may have changed and suddenly likes it.  What about Tara and Freddy?  Possibly.   It’s been so long since I have seen them. Check

3) How do I find out if they are ok?  Facebook, check

 

So after pounding through social media and discovering everyone is safe, my mind then drones into the horror that the families of the deceased must be facing now.   Sisters, sons, mothers, brothers, fathers, daughters,, now gone.  Mercilessly.  Senselessly.   Families changed forever "grieving and thinking “Why, why did this have to happen?”  WHY did our loved one go to that concert? WHY.  WHY them?   Why didn’t they go somewhere else?  Why didn’t they stand in a different spot?”  Why God, why? A hole now exists in their hearts and in their families forever.  Sadness, such sadness.   I empathetically feel their pain and wish I could comfort them somehow. 

 

Now my sadness goes to anger.  Pure anger.  Why the f**k did this deranged manic decide to open fire on all of these innocent people?  What gave him the f*****g right to even contemplate taking others lives?  Who does he think he is and finally, why was he allowed to have that f*****g gun?  OR all of those f*****g guns?

 

I drove my husband Joseph to work today after dropping Zane off at school.  I decided to drive him into the city today because I wanted to make sure he got to his job safely.  Deep down, I was feeling uneasy and unsure that mass transit was a good idea today for him. 

 

On NPR, which we listen to every morning, the reporter was playing a clip of the shooter at the concert.  The mere sound of the rapid-fire automatic rifle brought tears to my eyes.  The utter speed at which the shots were fired off, each one MEANT for a living, breathing person below-a loved one to somebody, each one with evil intent to murder, each one with indiscriminant careless purpose,  all of which, was harrowing to listen to. Then another round, and another.  More than 25 seconds worth of shooting. “ Make it stop! My ears don’t want to hear it anymore!  Somebody stop this!! Think of all of the pain and confusion.  These poor people!”

 

I turn to Joseph and his face shows me he is feeling what I am feeling exactly.  I am choked up and can barely speak at this point while slowly making my way up 8^th Avenue. 

 

Then my head goes to:  This could happen here- any day.  Look where we are- one of the biggest cities in the world.  How easily this could happen.  Look at the people out here on their way to work, thousands of individuals on the streets right now.  Look at the buildings- how high they are.   Look where Joseph is working- Times Square.   These horrible thoughts shook me in terror and I am two thousand miles from the actual site of the devastation.   Look at how upset and concerned I am right now. 

 

My mind then says to itself “ I only feel safe at home.  You cannot trust anyone, anywhere.”   When these words cross my mind, I feel an overwhelming sense of being ashamed.   This is what these terrorists (YES to me mass shooters are terrorists) want me to think.   The definition of terrorist is “ a person who uses unlawful violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims”.   This in my eyes, WAS Timothy McVeigh, this WAS the shooter at Pulse nightclub, this IS Stephen Paddock.   I was in New York City for the 9/11 terrorist attack and I know what it feels like to want to pack up and leave out of fear.   It is in our genetic makeup and instincts to want to protect ourselves and our families from the possibility of harm.  The question now is, where would you go instead of where you are? Why do you think that somewhere else in the USA is safer than where your current location is?  As we have seen time and time again, NO PLACE is safe but we cannot, as humans forfeit our rights to walk this earth and country out of pure fear. 

 

I made the mistake of looking at Twitter this morning.   One of the hashtags is #guncontrol.  For me personally, and I am just say that- ME, PERSONALLY, I believe we need extensive background checks on people who want to purchase guns especially if there is a history of mental illness or criminal charges in their past.  Checks on those who want semi- automatic guns and military style firearms feels like no brainer ( TO ME, however I am sure my point of view is unpopular with others and that’s FINE)  But for me,  I am not saying take guns  away for good, because we all know that that will NEVER happen, but having more laws to make it more difficult for people to legally carry them, can POSSIBLY help curtail instances like what happened in Las Vegas yesterday. 

 

But the real question is, HOW do we work together and make a change.  I know that the people on the Left and people on the Right DO NOT want these shootings to happen.  None of us do!  How can we implement change together without making people feel like their rights are being taken away?  How can we together reach a common, mutually respected ground to help fix this epidemic in America.  My heart is open and I am ready to go.  Join me.   God Bless America xx

Author's Note

Hi! Just looking for any types of reviews. I write from the heart, however I welcome constructive criticism. Thanks :)

Reviews

[Chris]

Welcome to WC. World events DO overshadow our imagination - at times. The depth of pure hurt that evil-intent can unleash is staggering. Vegas was pre-planned, arranged, and performed. We can only hope that the general populace will not surrender more of their personal "freedoms" for any false promise of security in the aftermath.

[barleygirl]

I also get tears in my eyes when I hear some of these video clips . . . you've captured so many of the details of how we all feel! Your description is so well done, covering all the stages of grief we go thru at these times. This is a breath of fresh air becuz of the originality of your approach . . . so many of us do not know what to say, but you've found something to say that actually unites us (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[J. W. Hester]

I share your feelings on much of it. The world has become a terrifying place. It's like the pressure is critical and everyone is anticipating the pop. Your not alone, sister.

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad day for us. Poor people trying to enjoyed. Killed by a madman. Your thoughts and emotions felt by all of us. Reading the stories of the people murdered. Just normal and good people lost to our world. I believe all we can do is pray for the people lost and their families. We can never be afraid. Can't allow the bad folks to control our emotions. Thank you Amy for sharing your thoughts.
Coyote

[Tony Jordan]

I think that guns aren't the issue because bombs can kill just as indescriminately and can be fashioned from over the counter materials - should all those be banned too? Then gas can be manufactured using simple chemicals. Motor vehicles and kitchen knives have been horribly effective around Europe.
My greatest fear is that this maniac has shown ISIL a new and deadly way to hit the population. They will be taking notes.
Tell your loved ones every day how much they mean to you and try to carry on with Life.

[emmajoy]

Your report, your words obviously come from a strong but tender heart.. and truly, start to finish say how it was, how it is and how your personal emotions reacted, react.. and, undoubtedly will continue to be. Fine, fine writing.

Not sure that there is a right way to conquer the EVILS in our world.. but for sure there are a million wrong ways.. and for me, a Brit, that is a flaw we have to gradually erase. Where are the calm, wise men and women - diplomats, thinkers, folk acceptable of advice from experienced people in specific fields, not this or that position because it happens to be empty!

That can be my only response.. for now.. still thinking it out, still reeling under your country's latest suffering. We've had ours this year.. God only knows, pain is everywhere.. just a fear is.. but so is vengeance and hatred from all corners.. and all that must take care to stay aware of its own repurcussions. Perhaps. Sorry, said too much

[Amy Zdunowski-Roeder]

Thank you SO much EmmaJoy! I thank you for your candidness and honesty as well. With every blow our country has it feels as though we don't have time to recover before the next upset. I greatly appreciate your feedback xxx