Green Apple

Green Apple

A Chapter by Closed

... 

I see it in his eyes, or rather behind his eyes 
Where his brain continues to function 
The wheels, the gears and the cogs still turning                    
     .....  processing 

Processing who I am 

"Green" he says 

I always wear a bit of green when I visit 
keeping things the same as much as possible 
hoping that our small routines will help him regain         
some of the memories he has lost 

The memories must still be there, I think.  
If the memories are lost, they just need help finding their way.

"Green" he says again, "You look nice in green" 

"Thank you Grandpa" 

He's a bit taken aback by the word "Grandpa" 
He shakes his head now (in a 'no' means 'yes' sort of way) 

"Yes" he says, "yes, yes.  I am your Grandpa." 

I smile at him and hand him a bowl full of thin apple slices that I've just cut and peeled. 

"Green Apple?" I offer. 

He laughs at this and his eyes twinkle.

"Yes, yes!  My little green apple!" 

He remembers green apple. I was always his little 'green apple'. 
Since I was a little girl. 

He doesn't remember taking me fishing, or on picnics 
He doesn't remember the trips to the zoo and the park
He forgets my name 
         and that I'm grown now, with children of my own 
         that I long for him to know.

There are pictures in his room on his bedside table 
One is a picture of me at 7 years old 
     a funny looking girl with a short bowl haircut

In the picture I am wearing a pair of jeans 
    they are faded from too many washes
    and my t-shirt is white 
    with a big green apple     
    
There's another picture next to this one         
           a grown up version of me 
     my hair is long now but my face still looks the same 

In this picture I'm wearing a pair of faded old jeans   
     and a white t-shirt 

I remember searching for a 'grown-up' t-shirt with a green apple 
    I couldn't find one, so I painted one on the plain white T

It's how he remembers me.

"Green Apple"



© 2017 Closed



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This is beautiful Ana. Such a beautiful memory and connection, sometimes hazy, but still there. We all have to hold on tight to those twinkles. I am so gonna find that t shirt for you....for him. :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


Closed

1 Year Ago

Thanks Nemo. :) I like this one too. Thank you for reading it.
Lorry.

1 Year Ago

You're very welcome :)
it must be the hormones I have been taking to conquer the cancer.. but your poem has once again brought tears to my eyes Papaya... "green apple" is a great name for you and your poem has so much love it that the green is somehow greener... I know that doesn't make much sense (hormones again)... but it is hard to describe the feelings that your poem has evoked... there is such sweetness here and yet too such sadness (that he does not know your children)...

I did read this poem before, but did not comment on it then... but had to come back and reread and leave you a comment this time... I never really knew my grandfathers, one died before I was born and the other wasn't that close to... though did get to know him a bit when he came to live with my folks before he died.. in his own way he was a rebel, and that side of the family thought him a bit weird.. kinda funny because it was this "weirdness" I found was something special and wish I had known him better and who he really was... anyway, your poem with the love you both shared allowed me to go there some.. thank you for this Papaya..

I honestly don't think poetry can get much better than what you have written here Papaya, a wonderful treat!!!

redzone

Posted 1 Year Ago


Closed

1 Year Ago

Thank you, for some reason I thought you had commented on this before. I really appreciate you taki.. read more
redzone

1 Year Ago

I think it is a good idea to a voice recording Papaya... when you are ready of course.... this is an.. read more
Aww, What a lovely expression of the love between the two characters. Simple and very sweet. Thanks for sharing. :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


Closed

1 Year Ago

Thank you for popping in to visit me! :)
Ana, love is amplified in every line that's why it's so beautiful. What a lovely testament this is to him.
What lovely wee snapshots you've given us, I've learned he was a loving and loved man. Ataahua (beautiful) x

Posted 1 Year Ago


Closed

1 Year Ago

Yes. He was one of the good guys. :)
Thank you so much beautiful lady.
My father was diagnosed with dementia when I was 15 years old. This made me think a lot about that. This is sad as it is sweet. It is beautiful. A legacy of green & the meaning behind "Green Apple" only harden because of the ingredients you have poured into this. I believe any heavy emotions are reconciled because of this. Commendable.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Closed

1 Year Ago

Well I've been known to imagine things so thanks for keeping me honest.
PhoenixDown

1 Year Ago

As long as you keep your imagination & beliefs up, then you are most welcome.
Closed

1 Year Ago

Of course, piece of cake.
Awe, that is such a sweet and touching poem.
I am sure deep in his heart he knows you are his green apple.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Closed

1 Year Ago

Thank you Cowboy. :)
This is a very sweet story. Such moving gestures! Reading this, I felt every emotion under the sun, from depressed to hopeful to happy.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Closed

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much Clifford. :)
I thought this was packed with feeling and emotion. It shows a very loving man with a loving family.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Closed

1 Year Ago

Thank you James.
I think the paired down narrative words really well here. You tell us what we need to know as the story unfolds. And it is extremely touching.
Because it's a story, the punctuation needs attention. But that is a small thing.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Closed

1 Year Ago

Thank you S. Mi, yes punctuation needs attention. I got lazy. :)
Oh this is so touching. You really pull at the heart strings with this - dementia / memory loss of any kind is so hard to understand - we want our loved ones to remember us forever, but sadly this isn't always so. I love the green apple jogging his memory though - so sweet.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Closed

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much for reading this one, I really appreciate the kind words.

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Added on June 10, 2016
Last Updated on January 19, 2017


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