Where paradise is found

Where paradise is found

A Poem by Anata
"

A glossa made out of one of Emily Dickinson's 'Heaven is what I cannot reach!'

"

Original part:

 

The color on the cruising cloud,
The interdicted ground
Behind the hill, the house behind, --
There Paradise is found!


 

Emiliy Dickinson - Heaven is what I cannot reach!

 

Where Paradise is Found - A glossa

 

The color on the cruising cloud
caress my skin, a gentle breeze
surrounded by fields plowed
what else could make me more appeased?

 

The interdicted ground
blossoming flowers, spreading scents
birds' music profound
not one moment I lament


Behind the hill, the house behind
my every step, a touch of heaven
love, music intertwined
come closer, the mystery unleavened


There Paradise is found
with eyes shut to see the light
no disturbance around
oh if I could stay, my heart it might

 

© 2008 Anata


Author's Note

Anata
Glossa made out of 'Heaven is what I cannot reach!' from Emily Dickinson.

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Featured Review

I like an awful lot of this, though I suspect it would get better with a rewrite/edit, there are places that it doesn't quite roll of the tongue for me. eg. and please ignore if you disagree !!

"There Paradise is found
with eyes shut to see the light
no disturbance around
oh if I could stay, my heart it might"

TO

There Paradise is found
with (my) eyes shut to see the light
no disturbance (is) around
if I could stay, then my heart it might

Thx for sharing this :)

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is a very well crafted poem, a pleasure to read.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

you have capture emily's styke if not quite her cadence A vakiant effort

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Super write!! Rather calm and relaxing while it hits on most of the senses. It makes the reader really imagine being there. Two thumbs up!!

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Stunning! A very well crafted "Glosa". Don't you just love Emily Dickinson? One of my favorite poets.
You had some wonderful visual lines in this poem. I'm sure Ms Dickinson would be impressed!!

You did a good job, much enjoyed!

~ Helena

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like an awful lot of this, though I suspect it would get better with a rewrite/edit, there are places that it doesn't quite roll of the tongue for me. eg. and please ignore if you disagree !!

"There Paradise is found
with eyes shut to see the light
no disturbance around
oh if I could stay, my heart it might"

TO

There Paradise is found
with (my) eyes shut to see the light
no disturbance (is) around
if I could stay, then my heart it might

Thx for sharing this :)

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on September 17, 2008
Last Updated on September 17, 2008

Author

Anata
Anata

Houthalen, Belgium



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