"Amid Summer's Eve..."

Read it BEFORE you read it aloud... understand its rhythm.

"Amid Summer's Eve..."

It rained - here, last night

driplets cascaded and ran -

falling and falling,

merging 'til becoming

twisting and turning

growing, flowing rivulets

that marred and stained

existence -
by releasing

...echoes of the hurt inside.

I miss you.

Chris

Author's Note

feel free

Reviews

[Ees]

Great poem! I really enjoyed it. I could see the rain cascading down leaves and gutters easily, but I could also feel the emotional current that was contained within it- how time, like rain almost washes things away, but slowly, leaving trails as it goes.
Great job.
There was one word that caught me up and that was: becoming
Becoming what? you don't say. That word stuck out to me a little bit as not doing the rest of the poem justice... I don't know that's the one word I would think on if you are to think on any of it.
Have fun,
Erin

[Bumble]

At first I thought it was about Summer's Eve and then I reread it and thought it had a deeper meaning. Either way it is a beautiful poem.

[shallimarRose]

Rain in the Summer and early Autumn are my favorite...

I love the way this felt Chris though sad.... The Summer rain feels reminiscent and melancholy... that shade of grey in the heart that never quite let go... xo shall

[Belle]

The fact of the possibility that there is rain during summer evening is very low, the word " rain " here suggests an outburst of emotion, and the suggested meaning is supported by the last two lines of the piece.
With regard to the rhythm, the syllable counts grow from the first line to the end, meaning as time goes the the void that needs to fill grows and is strongly outpouring like how the poem is being structured.
The alliteration and repetition present also are effective in giving emphasis on the imagery that the piece is trying to show.

[Priscilla Sayers]

The hurt is easily felt with your masterful words. So precise and strikes the target each time with little need to carry on in more descriptions. Beautiful dearest Chris!

[Ruth]

Tumbled affection, each word given a character and metaphor unto itself!
Perfection and felt xoxo

[Bobbie Coelho]

Lovely poem the rain descriptive of the sadness you feel. Very short, very powerful.

[Adam M. Snow]

Amazing 100/100

[Chris]

Adam, thanks for pausing.

[Adam M. Snow]

You're welcome

[sharonlee]

Its never easy, the missing of things forever gone. Beautiful.
x

[emmajoy]

Swear i heard you whisper yet another of your secrets. Seems you're sitting there, listening to the rain tip-tap the window panes, weather wild it is. You - looking into the distance, elbows on table, chin held in palms, imagining. Maybe YOU heard an echo .. would you tell us if you did?

A wistful piece.